I came out

S

Sharkie

New member
I've been poly for a few months and I just came out as poly to my mum. She replied with 'no you're not' so I told her again that I was and she denied it again. We had a talk about it. All in all it went ok. She was more accepting than my close friendship group, which kinda hurts. They are not ok with it and it hurts. They and my ex-partner have always been the closest people to me and I feel like I've semi-lost all of them :/
 
Understand... V's parents are not cool with it. Our friends that know are and while my parents don't like it, they accept it and don't say anything negative to me about it.
 
Time may help people relax about whatever problem they perceive. They may have preconceptions about polyamory that your behavior and further conversations will dispel over time.

Leetah
 
Sharkie said:
....She was more accepting than my close friendship group, which kinda hurts. They are not ok with it and it hurts. They and my ex-partner have always been the closest people to me and I feel like I've semi-lost all of them :/
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Man, that totally sucks. And I find it a bit shocking, too. It's not like you told your friends you're an ax murderer. Good grief! It astonishes me to no end that we poly folk are so often treated this way by our so-called "friends".

I consider this a form of bigotry no different in essence from sexism, homophobia, heterosexism, misogyny, racism and the like. To abandon a friend because you learn he or she is gay, bisexual, polyamorous, whatever, is pretty f***ing pathetic. And it makes me think that they were probably not really very much of a true friend to begin with.
 
nycindie said:
What made you want to tell your mother about your personal life???
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Some folks have close, loving intimate bonds with their mothers.
 
My question wasn't about the relationship with mother. My question is about what prompts someone who is new to poly, and has only been practicing it for a few months, to "come out" about it to a family member. I was wondering what it was that flicked that switch on and motivated the OP to reveal that kind of personal info so early on. Just curious.
 
nycindie said:
I was wondering what it was that flicked that switch on and motivated the OP to reveal that kind of personal info so early on. Just curious.
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I can't speek for the OP, but I don't think a few months is early when you're in your early 20ties. Especially if she's living with her.
I for myself can't keep a secret for long, not only but especially with mom.
 
I "sort of" told my daughter recently because she came to visit for 8 days and it was really hard to hide being that she was staying with us all. She started asking questions and so I told her that I would neither deny or confirm her suspicions. She said she was ok with whatever made me happy. Her dad (Peter) on the other hand, forbids me to tell her and says that he will go "berserk" if anyone intentionally finds out about our quad relationship. Whatever! :cool:

I hate living a lie! I would just as soon rip the band aid off and tell everyone than pretend I don't love someone.
 
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