Greetings from southeast asia

septemberrain

New member
Hello all,
Anyone from southeast asia?
Up until 2 months ago, I didn’t know anything about Polyamory.
Now my eyes open wide, not shutting! Still learning... wow!
Can’t stop reading... later!
 
I’m in the U.S., but I wanted to welcome you anyway.
 
Hi. Thank you.
Just heard the Las Vegas shooting, dreadful news - why is it so crazy over there? My heart-felt condolence goes out to the families and friends of the victims.

Once again - thank you for welcoming me.
 
Just heard the Las Vegas shooting, dreadful news - why is it so crazy over there?

I could go on a long political rant, but I’m going to save that for another venue. ;)

Tell us more about yourself!
 
Greetings septemberrain,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It sounds like you are just getting started on your poly journey. Do lots of reading and posting on this site, there's a lot you can learn here. Let us know if you have any questions.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Hi septemberrain - welcome to the Forum! We have lots of experienced polyfolks on the Forum who are generally very friendly and helpful - with good, sound advice. Best of luck on your poly journey! Al
 
Crazy week at work. Ok about myself, a brief intro...

My wife & I are from a very conservative and religious traditional Chinese families. She is a Catholic and I was a Buddhist, converted to catholic when I married her (now I m closeted atheist). We have been married for 22 years and have 2 children.
So everything seems quite monogamous for a typical Asian family right?

Well, 3 months ago I caught my wife cheating and I'm ok with it! :confused:
I didn't confront her until about 2 weeks ago because I was searching for reasons/answers on why I m ok with it. That search landed me here and few other sites. So I've been reading posts here since July and decided to join-in this week, there are so much more to learn. I guess I was never monogamous, it is just society that set the rules and forced it on us, I personally have love more than 1 girl at a time, but I suppressed it with what I was told since young that "1 man 1 woman" is right as if it is the law of nature. I find myself always following and doing what I was told, almost never follow my heart. Well, that have to change from now on.

I tried to get my wife to join-in but she is still a little shock; let me tell you how she reacted.
When I confronted her with the evidence, at 1st she was shocked and ashamed. She cried, begged for forgiveness and begged me not to tell our families and children, and in return she will do whatever I want and bare the consequences. I told her it is ok, and that I understand why and no need to be ashamed, we are just human not god. Then I joked "...even god fucked Mary!"... and that didn't went well, she was in even more shock like stun! She left the room without saying a word and went missing for 1 whole day!

As for what drove her to cheats, Well... few factors
1) age gap, 15 years different, I m 54 and she is 39
2) after our 2nd child, my sex drive went downhill, I went from overweight to obese in 1 year. My health deteriorates, high cholesterol, diabetes, high blood pressure and fatty liver problems and finally erectile dysfunction; and she was just 25 at that time.
3) she is very good looking and work in hotel line, a lot of guess tried to pick her. the temptation is high.
4) and finally, last few years the economy downturn mean that I have to go abroad, seldom at home...

Anyway, that's all I want to say for now... til then,

and thank you all for the warm welcome

cheers
 
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Hi septemberrain, thanks for that new information. It sounds like you are kind of waiting to find out what your wife will think about polyamory. What about the idea of her joining the forum, is that a possibility? Maybe we could address some of her concerns.
 
Hi septemberrain, thanks for that new information. It sounds like you are kind of waiting to find out what your wife will think about polyamory. What about the idea of her joining the forum, is that a possibility? Maybe we could address some of her concerns.

Well, have a long chat with her, she is not ready to join.
She doesn’t feel comfortable with the idea of loving many.
Our talk reveals there are other reason why she cheats. It leave me no choice but to consider other alternatives including a possibility of divorce.
Don’t know what to think right now...
 
Sorry to hear that divorce has become a possibility. Sometimes in life these things happen ...

Is marriage counseling a possibility?
 
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