Where do you meet people?

S

SparkyGirl

New member
In an attempt to get out more (good advice given to me from my other thread) I thought "Alright self. Time to start doing some shit."

And while I have made that decision, the execution is... much more daunting.

Where do you go? What types of groups do you go to?

There's this missing part of my brain that I think others have, where they go "Okay, I want to meet people, do I'll go to X." I don't know where to start. The idea of going out and just meeting people (when not related to my career) feels weird, awkward and uncomfortable.

So, where do you like to go, where have you had successes, and is there a good place online, like a dating site, where poly relationships are considered less taboo?
 
OKCupid is not bad for non monogamous dating, although they keep making changes that make it less useable IMO.

Otherwise, do you have any hobbies? Barring hobbies, do you have any interests? there are groups for anything and everything...
 
icesong said:
OKCupid is not bad for non monogamous dating, although they keep making changes that make it less useable IMO.

Otherwise, do you have any hobbies? Barring hobbies, do you have any interests? there are groups for anything and everything...
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Maybe I'll check out OKCupid.

I am very interested in my career, and I tend to go to a lot of workshops, but I want to stay out of dating in that field.

Besides that... wow, I'm boring. I'd love to learn how to dance.
 
I like live music so I just go out to bars and clubs. I also go to music festivals, art festivals, gardening shows, car shows. Basically I just go out and do things I like to do. If I meet someone it's a bonus, but at least I am enjoying myself. I find that going out on a mission to find someone rarely works for me.

OKC can be good depending on what area you are in. It also depends on how picky you are. Going out on a date with someone from online works best if you have no expectations. harder to be disappointed that way.
 
The easiest way to know new people is through people who you do already know. That is the missing ingredient, I think. So meed the first person, preferably someone who knows many other people, and from there things should become easier. :)
 
LoveQuest said:
The easiest way to know new people is through people who you do already know. That is the missing ingredient, I think. So meed the first person, preferably someone who knows many other people, and from there things should become easier. :)
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I am sure it is the missing ingredient - but this seems like silly advice given I am struggling to meet people. If the secret to meeting more people is to know one person and grow from there, I'm screwed - I don't have those connections.
 
SparkyGirl said:
I am sure it is the missing ingredient - but this seems like silly advice given I am struggling to meet people. If the secret to meeting more people is to know one person and grow from there, I'm screwed - I don't have those connections.
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Some people have the grace of doing that job of introducing someone new to the group. All you have to do is to be in the right place at the right time and someone like that will approach you, if you allow.

There are lots of groups over the internet of people who meet together for a common purpose, linked to sports, cars, some kind of game, something nerd, etc. There must be something you like.

Studying a course of what something you like is also another way to meet people with similar interests to yours. Some poly groups met during lectures related to poly arrangement, for instance.
 
SparkyGirl said:
I am sure it is the missing ingredient - but this seems like silly advice given I am struggling to meet people. If the secret to meeting more people is to know one person and grow from there, I'm screwed - I don't have those connections.
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It only takes one person though. A few years ago I was spending a lot of time in Seattle, about two weeks at a time. I didn't know anybody except my business partner, who didn't know hardly anybody. But I did manage to meet a girl through him. Next thing you know I had about 20 "friends" and I am about as far from being a social butterfly as one can get and not be a hermit.
 
Hi SparkyGirl,

You mentioned dancing ... go for it, take a dance class! :)

One other thought, depends on what you have in your area. If you have any local poly groups, you could go to their meetups. Not that you would troll for dates, just that you would try socializing and maybe strike up some friendships. You never know if a friendship might turn romantic someday.

I think the key is to put yourself in situations where socialization will tend to happen, which can then grow into a friendship or three. It's all about making friends.

Just some foods for thought.
Regards,
Kevin T.
 
kdt26417 said:
Hi SparkyGirl,

You mentioned dancing ... go for it, take a dance class! :)

One other thought, depends on what you have in your area. If you have any local poly groups, you could go to their meetups. Not that you would troll for dates, just that you would try socializing and maybe strike up some friendships. You never know if a friendship might turn romantic someday.

I think the key is to put yourself in situations where socialization will tend to happen, which can then grow into a friendship or three. It's all about making friends.

Just some foods for thought.
Regards,
Kevin T.
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I'm not like, overly close to any poly groups, but I do have an old friend from high school that lives in the city. We sometimes chat on Facebook. I reached out to her, and she said she knows some good groups. She's working on the next meeting, but for December she will take me and introduce me to some people. So I have high hopes for that. In the meantime, I joined OKC. I'm at least talking to some people.
 
Sounds promising. Keep us posted! I hope you'll continue to get a chance to talk to some people.
 
Social dance classes can be a fun way to meet people. You usually change partners (lots of people come without one) so you get to meet people. Often there will be "practice" or "party" events that you find out about at the class. I know someone who got very into swing dancing while she was living in Ithaca, NY, and there was a lot of overlap between that community and the poly community.

I like to sing, and I've found that singing in a karaoke bar when it's slow has led people to introduce themselves.

Book clubs and foreign language classes -- both of which involve interacting with other people -- can be good, too.

You could also check out meetup.com for groups dedicated to culture, hiking, and other activities.
 
Signing up for classes for things you enjoy doing or things that you want to learn to do is a good way to get out and meet people.

Dance, cooking, sewing, fitness, etc. For me, these aren't where I'm looking to meet a potential partner, but to make new friends and connections and grow my social sphere.

From those connections, I might meet a new partner.
 
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