Hola
- Thread starter Texasdew
- Start date
Al99
Well-known member
Hi Texasdew - and welcome to the Forum! Please feel free to post any thoughts or questions you have to the Poly Relationships Corner or the General Poly Discussion sections. Those sections are quite active and you are certain to get some feedback to your posts - we have a good number of experienced poly folks here are generally friendly and helpful. Al
Greetings Texasdew,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.
If you are like me, you'll find Polyamory.com to be a cornucopia of poly information and wisdom. Just have a look around and see what calls to you; let us know if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"
Notes:
There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!
Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.
Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.
If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.
Welcome aboard!
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.
If you are like me, you'll find Polyamory.com to be a cornucopia of poly information and wisdom. Just have a look around and see what calls to you; let us know if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"
Notes:
There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!
Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.
Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.
If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.
Welcome aboard!
Ravenscroft
Banned
Texasdew, please don't "be poly" in order to fit in with a couple. If they are truly polyamorous, then at this stage they (IMNSHO) ought to be spending MUCH more time educating you than recruiting you.
I'm guessing it's going to be a closed threesome, so not so much polyamory as polyfidelity or rather group marriage & therefore more like "real couple + 1." The wife "wants to explore her bi side" & they've maybe already been observing that "you seem like you might be bi too."
If I was going to recommend readings & discussions for you, it wouldn't be all the usual cheery fluff about how wonderful polyamory is (& therefore how wonderful anyone is who calls themselves "poly"), but rather on effective skills with communication & problem-solving, & how to recognize & repair an impending problem before it's a crisis.
Of course, you ought to immediately begin by reading up on unicorns. The experience can feel like being made a couple's "special princess"... or their live-in rent-paying sex-toy, cut off from the outside world & readily replaceable. The topic comes up regularly, so there's a really long thread (made up of multiple discussions since 2009) --
Unicorns & Unicorn Hunters
I'm guessing it's going to be a closed threesome, so not so much polyamory as polyfidelity or rather group marriage & therefore more like "real couple + 1." The wife "wants to explore her bi side" & they've maybe already been observing that "you seem like you might be bi too."
If I was going to recommend readings & discussions for you, it wouldn't be all the usual cheery fluff about how wonderful polyamory is (& therefore how wonderful anyone is who calls themselves "poly"
), but rather on effective skills with communication & problem-solving, & how to recognize & repair an impending problem before it's a crisis.Of course, you ought to immediately begin by reading up on unicorns. The experience can feel like being made a couple's "special princess"... or their live-in rent-paying sex-toy, cut off from the outside world & readily replaceable. The topic comes up regularly, so there's a really long thread (made up of multiple discussions since 2009) --
Unicorns & Unicorn Hunters
I wasn't recruited or invited to be in their relationship but thank you for the concern. Nor was I turning poly to fit in with them. I simply met nice people who live differently than I have and described an alternative lifestyle to my own. As I am starting over again in that department I thought It would be something to research and consider. I will however thank you for the warning for unicorn hunters and read the articles you shared and if you have anymore suggested reading I will fully heartily appreciate the links.
Al99
Well-known member
The book I would most recommend is "Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships" by Tristan Taormino - available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, etc. The author does an an excellent job of presenting consensual non-monogamy as a whole, polyamory's place with the larger sphere of consensual non-monogamy, and then a good overview of polyamory as well as some suggestions on how to best navigate the poly lifestyle in an ethical manner. The book is slightly dated in it's technological references and doesn't get into some of the newer poly terms such as "compersion" - but this really doesn't affect the presentation in any significant way.
Other major poly texts include "The Ethical Slut", a classic early text on poly, recently updated, and a worthwhile read - it delves more into the sexuality aspect - and "More Than Two", a very long book that I personally find to be arduous and overly opinionated - but nevertheless an essential read if you decide on poly as a lifestyle - if for no other reason than the topics it covers present excellent food for thought and discussion points.
Also, you might want to visit polyweekly.com - a poly podcast site with over 500 archived podcasts.
Hope this helps. Al
Other major poly texts include "The Ethical Slut", a classic early text on poly, recently updated, and a worthwhile read - it delves more into the sexuality aspect - and "More Than Two", a very long book that I personally find to be arduous and overly opinionated - but nevertheless an essential read if you decide on poly as a lifestyle - if for no other reason than the topics it covers present excellent food for thought and discussion points.
Also, you might want to visit polyweekly.com - a poly podcast site with over 500 archived podcasts.
Hope this helps. Al
Kay doesn't have any interest in dating anyone but me. She's monogamous.
opalescent
Active member
There is a glossary/dictionary thread. But it's not super easy to find.
Under 'Stickies' in this Master Thread, the first link is the Glossary and Dictionary thread. Just keep in mind that definitions are only the start. Poly people don't always agree on definitions. It can be really productive to ask other poly folks what their definition of various things are.
The rest of the master threads are also worth perusing.
http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1830
Under 'Stickies' in this Master Thread, the first link is the Glossary and Dictionary thread. Just keep in mind that definitions are only the start. Poly people don't always agree on definitions. It can be really productive to ask other poly folks what their definition of various things are.
The rest of the master threads are also worth perusing.
http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1830