Spring means new beginnings

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michindi

New member
Hi all!
First I'd like to say it's exciting to find a site with like minded people. From what I can tell from briefly browsing posts before joining is that this seems to be a real genuine and sincere community.

We are a couple and new to this idea but we have talked it through and are ready to embark on a new unconventional journey in life. We are not sure what is the best way to start so we are hoping at the very least to meet some great people and get good advice and encouragement through this site.

We are looking for someone in ohio or indiana. We would like to each experience another to help realize fantasies so we are thinking maybe another couple would be best. But since we are starting out, we are open to talking to single males or females as well. Again, any advice would be greatly appeciated even if you are not interested!
 
Hi michindi - and welcome to the Forum, and to the world of consensual non-monogamy and polyamory. We have lots of experienced poly folks here who are generally friendly and helpful so please do post any specific questions or thoughts that you may have - you are almost certain to get some good response. Kevin, our official greeter, will be along shortly, I'm sure, with a reply that will contain some helpful links as well. The poly relationships corner and general poly discussion sections are both quite active - so those are good sections in which to post.

One bit of advice that you are likely to hear is that experienced polyamorists have discovered that in most cases when a married couple opens up their relationship, it usually works best when each partner dates independently - instead of with the idea that you are dating as a "married couple" (which is usually the case in swinging - as opposed to poly). Something to think about... feel free to post on the topic if you feel you might find it helpful.

Again, welcome, and best of luck on your new journey! Al
 
Close road

Thanks for the greeting Al99!

It all sounds great and hopefully works out for us. We are definitely not interested in just swinging in the traditional sense or how we have viewed it. We definitely want exclusivity and form a relationship with the new couple or single partners. Something where we get to know each other well and have interests outside the bedroom as well. It should all go together right? The more you know someone as a person the greater your securities are about it all. For us, we want to enjoy and share the experience together rather than having independent partners.. so maybe we are looking for a hybrid poly/swing situation? Kind of like if we each already had close personal friends of ours that would be interested in being totally open with each other and sharing.

Any suggestions on which would be the best places to post for what we are looking for would be greatly appreciated!
 
For us, we want to enjoy and share the experience together rather than having independent partners.. so maybe we are looking for a hybrid poly/swing situation?
Click to expand...

What you are looking for is certainly possible - just not generally considered the norm among experienced polyamorists, although it is often the general pubic's perception of polyamory. The "exact definition" of poly has been long debated here and elsewhere - but the most generally accepted components seem to include multiple loving relationships with the knowledge and consent of all involved. So it would be possible that you and your husband could fall in love with another couple - in some configuration (are the women bi? are the men bi?) - or maybe it's just the strictly hetero configuration (so that outwardly it might just resemble "wife swapping"). What experience has shown, however, is that the more people that are directly involved with one another, the harder it is to maintain. And, of course, finding just the right couple so that all could fall in love and have romantic relationships is definitely easier said than done - but not impossible. A "quad" is a valid polyamory relationship, just probably a bit more complicated than each of you having your own partners as many married poly couples do. (Your partner's partners are called metamours - and can range from never even meeting them in person to being your best friend).

Finding one person to join you and date you as a couple is a whole other topic that I will not address in this post - except to commend you for considering males as well as females.
 
Greetings michindi,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

We do have a place where you can post, for what you are looking for, it is the Dating & Friendships board. In addition, I think that you might find OKCupid useful, give it a try.

I encourage you to read and post a lot on this forum. There's a lot of good help and information here. Have a look around and see what calls to you. The More than Two site is helpful also.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
We do have a place where you can post, for what you are looking for, it is the Dating & Friendships board. In addition, I think that you might find OKCupid useful, give it a try.
Click to expand...

Reflecting on your thought about a hybrid swinging/poly model, I do understand that sometimes swingers do develop close emotional and romantic attachments and transition into polyamory. That might be avenue to pursue - try some "swing couple dating" and see if you meet any couples (or individuals) that you really hit it off with - and perhaps it might develop into more. This looked liked a good list of swinger sites:

https://www.askmen.com/dating/online-dating-sites/swingers/

I do know that Swingtowns is specifically inclusive of poly. You might want to check them out first.
https://www.swingtowns.com/

Best of luck on your journey into consensual non-monogamy! Al
 
michindi said:
We definitely want exclusivity and form a relationship with the new couple or single partners. Something where we get to know each other well and have interests outside the bedroom as well. {...} Kind of like if we each already had close personal friends of ours that would be interested in being totally open with each other and sharing.
Click to expand...

So I'm not sure why the thing you describe requires mandated exclusivity. Certainly one can date as a couple, form triads or quads, but to me it seems like a lot of the worst pitfalls of poly come when you mandate, before a relationship even forms, that it will be exclusive. I mean, one doesn't go into a mono dating situation assuming that from the first encounter that you will be monogamous from that moment, so why would one assume that in poly?
 
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