Inaniel
Well-known member
Sometimes it doesn’t make sense to me. Daisy not wanting to date and all… Then I dip my toes in the dating pool myself and I remember... Dating sucks.
I think I envy Daisy.. The way she chooses not to distract herself with other relationships and focusing on herself in other ways. She is outpacing me in career growth. Diligently studying, collecting certifications, and pursuing opportunities…
Fuck. I don’t want to work that hard… At what point do you say “fuck it, I make enough”?
Me on the other hand... Every time I free up mental space I tell myself "You should start dating!".. More sex. More variety.. Is that really all I can think about? Yes...
So maybe im bored because work is not all that challenging… Or maybe the pandemic got me all antsy… I desperately need to get out of the country... I need to go on an adventure. And real talk: I need that adventure not to include Bird or Daisy… Just one vacation that is new in every way… That is what I want. Look, I love them dearly, the thing is I have been locked in a house with them for two years now…
So a few weeks ago I made a profile on a couple of dating apps...
I’m sort of lost in it all right now… As a 37yr old, I receive more interest from women in their early 20s than I ever did when I was in my early 20s… I don’t know what to think... At first it felt validating... Like maybe im a hot older guy, a DILF! On the other hand, maybe I am perceived as some sort of sugar daddy… An older gentleman that might pay for a fun travel adventure… I totally would, actually... If I met the right person.
I went on a date last night… I was supposed to be watching the kid while Bird went to a D&D party, but it got canceled. Meanwhile I was texting someone from the dating app and she seemed to be interested in me. She ended up asking me out, which felt like a bit of a reversal, but I figured why not… The whole thing was sort of last minute and not well planned.
I’ll call her Meo, a 22yr old young professional from SE Asia. My expectation was to meet her for one drink only since it was a work night... But one drink led to two, and that led to a change in venue to a bar that had a lot of fun arcade games and activities that we played together... Next thing I know we are flirting and teasing each other. And an hour later we were at her apartment having sex…
Sex with new partners is always a bit jarring for me... Feeling weird about it today is not so unusual. Regardless, my head is spinning... I’m alone in the house. Bird and Daisy left early this morning so I haven’t had a chance to talk to them… Daisy usually kisses me goodbye even if I am asleep, but she didn’t this morning. Maybe I still smelled like sex.. Daisy has a sensitive nose... That’s probably what it is..
Last night, early on the date with Meo, I asked her what she was looking for in regards to dating and she said “nothing”... I tried to clarify, and she kept saying “nothing”. English isn’t her first language, so I figured she just meant that she was dating out of boredom. Or maybe just looking for friends to show her around since she is new to the area. But then sex happened… Afterwards I rolled over and cuddled her for a moment, and said “So you aren’t looking for anything, huh?” in a kind of teasing way. Meo just smirked and closed her eyes…
In this moment.. I do not know what to think. I do not know if I want to see her again. I do not think communication is there.. I thought I knew what I was looking for. Suddenly, I don't know anything..
I guess I will try this blogging thing again...
I think I envy Daisy.. The way she chooses not to distract herself with other relationships and focusing on herself in other ways. She is outpacing me in career growth. Diligently studying, collecting certifications, and pursuing opportunities…
Fuck. I don’t want to work that hard… At what point do you say “fuck it, I make enough”?
Me on the other hand... Every time I free up mental space I tell myself "You should start dating!".. More sex. More variety.. Is that really all I can think about? Yes...
So maybe im bored because work is not all that challenging… Or maybe the pandemic got me all antsy… I desperately need to get out of the country... I need to go on an adventure. And real talk: I need that adventure not to include Bird or Daisy… Just one vacation that is new in every way… That is what I want. Look, I love them dearly, the thing is I have been locked in a house with them for two years now…
So a few weeks ago I made a profile on a couple of dating apps...
I’m sort of lost in it all right now… As a 37yr old, I receive more interest from women in their early 20s than I ever did when I was in my early 20s… I don’t know what to think... At first it felt validating... Like maybe im a hot older guy, a DILF! On the other hand, maybe I am perceived as some sort of sugar daddy… An older gentleman that might pay for a fun travel adventure… I totally would, actually... If I met the right person.
I went on a date last night… I was supposed to be watching the kid while Bird went to a D&D party, but it got canceled. Meanwhile I was texting someone from the dating app and she seemed to be interested in me. She ended up asking me out, which felt like a bit of a reversal, but I figured why not… The whole thing was sort of last minute and not well planned.
I’ll call her Meo, a 22yr old young professional from SE Asia. My expectation was to meet her for one drink only since it was a work night... But one drink led to two, and that led to a change in venue to a bar that had a lot of fun arcade games and activities that we played together... Next thing I know we are flirting and teasing each other. And an hour later we were at her apartment having sex…
Sex with new partners is always a bit jarring for me... Feeling weird about it today is not so unusual. Regardless, my head is spinning... I’m alone in the house. Bird and Daisy left early this morning so I haven’t had a chance to talk to them… Daisy usually kisses me goodbye even if I am asleep, but she didn’t this morning. Maybe I still smelled like sex.. Daisy has a sensitive nose... That’s probably what it is..
Last night, early on the date with Meo, I asked her what she was looking for in regards to dating and she said “nothing”... I tried to clarify, and she kept saying “nothing”. English isn’t her first language, so I figured she just meant that she was dating out of boredom. Or maybe just looking for friends to show her around since she is new to the area. But then sex happened… Afterwards I rolled over and cuddled her for a moment, and said “So you aren’t looking for anything, huh?” in a kind of teasing way. Meo just smirked and closed her eyes…
In this moment.. I do not know what to think. I do not know if I want to see her again. I do not think communication is there.. I thought I knew what I was looking for. Suddenly, I don't know anything..
I guess I will try this blogging thing again...
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