Echos of my Past

Tenebris Vox

Tenebris Vox

Member
I’ve been reflecting on how the past can echo through our lives, sometimes for decades. The person I’m thinking of was someone I connected with 27 years ago, and our paths last crossed 18 years ago. That brief but intense connection has lingered in my mind ever since, like a shadow I can’t quite shake.


Even now, memories of small moments, fleeting interactions, and places we shared surface unexpectedly. It’s a mix of warmth and frustration — the past feels both comforting and heavy, a reminder of what was never fully resolved. I often Wonder what happened to her but i cannot find a trace online anywhere.


I’m not ready to enter a new romantic relationship yet, but I do want meaningful connection. I want to meet people who share my values and understand the depth of emotional honesty that polyamory requires — not just the sexual side, but the friendship, care, and ethical commitment.


I’m curious if others here have experienced echoes from the distant past, and how you’ve learned to honour those memories without letting them hold you back. How do you balance memory, grief, and the pursuit of new connections?


Thank you for reading, and I hope to hear your thoughts.
 
Hello Tenebris Vox,

I have various people in my distant past, one in particular of whom I still dream at night. I guess I cope with that by keeping in mind that I only have one life to live, and I don't want to miss out on the present as well. Plus I think about what would have happened if I had ended up marrying that girl, and I don't think it would have been fair to her. I left the church, and I doubt she did the same. Plus I had a lot of emotional issues, I don't think I would have been a good husband. It doesn't change the fact that I still miss her, and dream about her, but at least it helps put things in perspective.

I don't think grief has an endpoint. You are always going to miss your person of so many years ago. Just try to keep that in perspective, and focus on making the present the best it can be, so that you don't end up with further regrets. Sorry I don't have better advice to give, I just wanted to say that I can empathize with your position.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
kdt26417 said:
Hello Tenebris Vox,

I have various people in my distant past, one in particular of whom I still dream at night. I guess I cope with that by keeping in mind that I only have one life to live, and I don't want to miss out on the present as well. Plus I think about what would have happened if I had ended up marrying that girl, and I don't think it would have been fair to her. I left the church, and I doubt she did the same. Plus I had a lot of emotional issues, I don't think I would have been a good husband. It doesn't change the fact that I still miss her, and dream about her, but at least it helps put things in perspective.

I don't think grief has an endpoint. You are always going to miss your person of so many years ago. Just try to keep that in perspective, and focus on making the present the best it can be, so that you don't end up with further regrets. Sorry I don't have better advice to give, I just wanted to say that I can empathize with your position.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
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no you are correct, yes its painful and i've sought to move on but see if i can still find her as an old friend i don't expect much to come of it. sometimes we need that closure especially if they left a lasting mark on our lives. Sometimes i think also that after 27 years forgiveness would come into play and friendship would be a nice thing. but who can say? I've had a look around but theirs no sign however i'm not going to go and let it become obsession or other scenario. if i don't find a trace ill live with that. but thank you, it helps to have that position.
 
I totally understand, when someone makes that deep of an imprint on your heart and your life, it's only natural to look for them and hope to renew a friendship. I know these are super long odds, but I hope you'll find the person who touched you.
 
kdt26417 said:
I totally understand, when someone makes that deep of an imprint on your heart and your life, it's only natural to look for them and hope to renew a friendship. I know these are super long odds, but I hope you'll find the person who touched you.
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thank you like i said im not going all out on it, last contact was 18 years ago, though i suspect they are still in the area, i'm not going to do something stupid like invade their privacy, theirs no social media though honestly i refuse to use social media anyway FB and X are right out. It would be a happy accident if i ran into the person. but Im looking to maybe start A steampunk event and or maybe a local group or two as there is nothing in that area for anyone least of all what i mentioned.
 
A steampunk event would be a good idea. You would make lots of new friends, and who knows, maybe there's a chance that that one special friend might be drawn to it.
 
who knows but I've got a 300 mile Journey, and I hope its not a wasted Journey if i even go there again. can't go right now. But then the most important thing to me right now is Support network and Surrogate family. though i think i could do with a one on one chat. with ayone whos willing to hear me out a little.
kdt26417 said:
A steampunk event would be a good idea. You would make lots of new friends, and who knows, maybe there's a chance that that one special friend might be drawn to it.
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You can of course chat with me, if you want and if that helps. I am following this thread.
 
Sure, send me a PM. I probably won't be signed on today any longer, but I usually sign in once every day.
 
Just adding a few more thoughts on this-

I have/do occasionally rather dwell or reminisce on my past with other relationships. I am not currently interested in truly re-meeting as I am happy where I am. That doesn't stop my thoughts, however. The thoughts are not only about good past but bad as well. I do not think there is anything particularly dangerous or harmful with this, but for myself, I want to let this go as much as possible. Not forget. Just be at ease. So, maybe meeting someone again and having closure (or a re-opening) is a good step. For myself, I have begun writing stories about my past, current, and desires which have helped tremendously with some of this mental swirling on the past. For one thing, writing out a story forces me to really think things over, clarify memories, and revisit. Then, there is something special about posting that in a public space. It is more powerful to do so than to write it out and keep it secret. This space is public but also very safe.

I share this as something that works well for me.
 
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