Recent content by dandyandy

You've been dating for 3 months. He's getting a divorce from an 8 year old marriage after dating you for 2 months. You're having an issue with them spending any sort of time together. Now you're expecting to be primary with occasional secondaries? if I'm missing anything just let me...

When people open up relationships, it's interesting to see the process - the structure - that they usually always try to implement at first. Hard boundaries, veto powers.. It makes them feel safe without having to work on the underlying emotions that we all eventually will have to work through...

My partner and I are poly. We don't have veto powers. We don't have boundaries beyond safer sex practices. Basically we trust eachother to do the best thing for our polycule with any situation. We are non-hierarchical, but cohabitating. Our metamours are welcome in our home as it were their...

there is some personal responsibility to make sure your relationships are healthy and happy - but that responsibility is with both partners. I would warn that not addressing his inability to self validate will eventually - if not already - harbor resentment for your inability to persue other...

It's possible that she's just giving in to the circular talks and giving him any "reason" so that he can have some resolve with his conflict. It can be exhausting to repeat yourself over and over - and in my days of less experience with radical honesty, I've reacted in the same way. People...

I think in some instances - "primary" gives the illusion of security. Which is kind of funny (maybe not so funny, really..) because there isn't anything in life that is actually secure. To me, security kind of goes hand in hand with trying to control the outcome of a relationship. Almost like...

my suggestions would really be to work on coming to terms with the notion that no relationship is "secure". For me, understanding that fairness and equality aren't synonymous was a huge help. I want my partner with me because it works for both of us and because he authentically wants to be...