Recent content by enigmastag

Yeah I don't think we have, at least not her. We have always had couple friends, and as a monogomous couple there has been a certain level of jealousy and insecurity when it comes to other people so bringing other people in was a big step. I actually had asked her for years and theorized that...

Yeah I’ve had plenty of those 😂 my wife would call them that In the lifestyle the best dynamics are probably those type of vibes as well probably what I was calling ktp. One guy was very respectful and we had a really good rapport but things got a little dicey cuz he refused to sti test and...

Ok maybe ktp is the wrong choice of words. Thanks for the clarification. She does stay at home now. We moved cross country last year and this is her first time fully staying at home. We did this for financial reasons partially, but also so she could spend more time w the kids. But it’s been...

By KTP, I mean just having a regular relationship and friendship inbetween all of us. She really doesn't want regular hangouts in a platonic way around the family or the kids. So I guess I mean instead of being a seperate relationship, we all vibe together. In the past we have had group chats...

When we are in counseling, everyone basically says that the "way" we are engaging in the lifestyle is damaging our connection and we need to work on us, but this could be coming from a monogomous perspective. When I talk about working on our connection, she says "we can still work on us while we...

She has mentioned a lot about being a people pleaser, which is fine. I would always want her to speak her mind and what her needs are. I didn't even ask for the break though. She is the one that came and said let's be on a break while we figure this out. When things got really heated and she...

I appreciate your message, and I definitely see the challenge in going from hotwifing to poly as the biggest stretch. I expressed the emotional in the beginning as being the hardest part for me and as she gradually pushes me there it feels like there will be nothing in this dynamic for me to...

I definitely think she likes the thrill of the chase and we have had this discussion quite a few times. Early in our relationship when I was less emotionally available, she "chased" me and was a very clingy partner, which I liked. As I have gotten older and grown as a person (we have been...

That is where it gets interesting. I'm sure I overthink some of the things my wife is looking for. I just want to have a full understanding of everything before we dive back into the deep end. Her relationships have been very one-sided, where she has been the one catching all the feelings with...

Thank you for the correction, I do need to get some of these terms together. We both agree we need to work on these things. Biggest issue is if we return to some form of poly/hotwifing she is adamant on bringing this guy back that she cheated with. He currently wants nothing to do with her, so...

Yes the break will be good and I think will be vital to see what our true needs are. As I research and read more and we discuss this from a dynamic standpoint, two main things stand out. My wife is a really good hotwife/swinger, but has not done a good job as a "V". There hasnt been much...

I can totally relate to how you feel. My wife and I come from more of a swinger background but my wife is very connective and free emotionally and I am very monogamous is that manner which has been a big struggle for me as well. I know some people label it as how I want to see her sexually but...

We’ve been trying to take it slow and figure things out through therapy. I anticipate a long break, maybe a year, to figure out where we are at. I am very certain that at whatever point she is going to try to bring this guy back into the mix, as I think the attachment is dangerously strong for...

I enjoyed this article a lot. Me and my wife read it together and we saw a lot in common with situations that we have had. Especially the demotion part and not acknowldging something was lost. I think knowing that she is recognizing how things are changing for us is a really big deal, instead of...

I fully agree with you on the veto power, and it has become one of our sticking points. In the past we had a "blanket veto" in place, where if any of us felt uncomfortable with the other person, we had the ability to veto and walk away, within reason. This has worked fine in swinger situations...