Recent content by LizziE

  1. L

    Advice appreciated, does it ever go well for the unicorn?

    It's not just a 'new to poly and freaking out' situation. Sure, it's being spun that way, because then...you'll accommodate it. And so will he. Because we need to accommodate our poor little pwecious and her Deep Important Feelings that simply MUST be more important than anybody elses...
  2. L

    Am I allowed space?

    Other than how you wrote about overall not having enough time for yourself, how do you feel about what your GF is demanding in terms of time for herself? Reading between the lines, it sounds like maybe you think her base request is too much for you. I totally agree with everything that...
  3. L

    LizziE Learning as She Goes

    It's been quite a while. An overview (all detailed much more heavily on my blog): - I was sexually assaulted in February. - As far as assaults go, it wasn't, violent or, involved penetration, FTR. - But it was still horrible, and caused a huge amount of emotional fallout when I was already...
  4. L

    LizziE Learning as She Goes

    Thank you! It's been really wonderful, being so Lora-free! I've written a few more entries on my blog: http://wp.me/p4QY2o-qA http://wp.me/p4QY2o-qK Long story short, Jon's last talk/meeting with Lora went well. She understood his reasons for not being able to have any kind of relationship...
  5. L

    Co-Dependency vs. Polyamory - feeling hopeless

    Good to hear that he's taking some steps on his own too. That is really wonderful news and a great update! I hope this upward trend continues! :)
  6. L

    Co-Dependency vs. Polyamory - feeling hopeless

    It was really great to read all the things you did in the last few days, to be present with Writer, and do a variety of activities in a number of ways, as well as not ask permission to see Wolf, but do it yourself, because you have every right to do so. In that time, what things did Writer do...
  7. L

    thoughts and mixed feelings

    I agree with PPs, even as I've done the same thing you're doing now - deciding that there is a specific way I must break up with someone, because it's the best, honorable, nicest, most taking-ownership, whatever way to break up. If you want, you can break up with him right now. A phone call, an...
  8. L

    thoughts and mixed feelings

    I agree with this so much. What if you didn't know how to drive, and decided to learn, and someone gave you a shitty deathtrap of a car to learn to drive with? So shitty that you had to do things like habitually turn the AC on so the car didn't just stall out. And the turn signals randomly...
  9. L

    Mono/Non-Mono - Struggling to Accept

    I find it interesting that your concerns don't sound like you're afraid of losing her, or of being replaced. As those are often fears too in poly, I'd like to ask if any of those come into play for you? For the things you cite, those could all be combated by a combination of you working on...
  10. L

    The Sushi Effect

    I see what you're saying, I believe, which has very little to do with jealousy and very much to do with being heard and not being treated as an object/with the contempt that comfort can bring. Correct me if I'm wrong, but this isn't about jealousy or being first. It's more about the concept...
  11. L

    LizziE Learning as She Goes

    Fuller updates on my blog, but long story short: Jon has decided that he wants no relationship with Lora at all. Or rather, that he can't have any kind of close relationship with her at all because she can't respect his boundaries or have a "normal" relationship with him. Lora also finally...
  12. L

    Co-Dependency vs. Polyamory - feeling hopeless

    Like SchrodingersCat said, ignore the poly police. What you're describing sounds exactly like polyamory. You can be poly and be sexually exclusive to one person. Or you can be sexually involved (or romantically involved) with multiple people. You're loving multiple people and doing your best to...
  13. L

    Creating healthy boundaries and distance after the fact

    Her fault? No. Her responsibility to manage? YES. My friend is diabetic, type 1. She's always been diabetic. Nothing she can do to not be diabetic. It's not her fault. But it is her responsibility to each fairly healthy, to check her insulin levels, to manage her insulin pump. It's a huge...
  14. L

    Co-Dependency vs. Polyamory - feeling hopeless

    It sounds like you have a codependent partner who has absolutely no drive to do anything (like therapy or develop his own hobbies) to work on his own codependencies. There's nothing you can do about that. I mean, you could keep bringing up therapy. Asking when he's going to start playing the...
  15. L

    LizziE Learning as She Goes

    I've had plenty of talks with people in the past (being on both sides of this) where one of us screwed up and wanted to do better, so what do we need to do to make something better? Hell, I've done that with Jon, that's how the few disagreements or mix-ups that we've had have been resolved. I...
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