Recent content by MeeraReed

  1. M

    Poly relationship that never was

    I just wanted to highlight this statement of yours because this is a very monogamous way to view the casual/fwb label, and I think you may be misunderstanding what Gala Girl means by "keeping things light" with C. In "traditional" dating (or "mainstream" or monogamous dating), there is sort of...
  2. M

    Poly relationship that never was

    I think because you never dated anyone for the 7 years you were with A, your being polyamorous was always only theoretical or in the abstract to A. She wrote a paper about it and claimed to accept that part of you...but in 7 years you demonstrated (to A's point of view) that you only wanted to...
  3. M

    Too many metas?

    With the title of your thread here, I think you are distracting yourself from the real issue(s) by focusing on the number of partners your partner has. "About ten in a constant state of flux" would be too many for me, but my own partner probably almost that many other partners at a given time...
  4. M

    Caught in a difficult situation

    Oh, okay, I think this is important! If you said this earlier, I missed it. You are in a poly relationship with your girlfriend, but you haven't actually navigated dating other people yourself yet? No wonder you felt awkward mentioning your poly status to the new girl! I'm glad you've...
  5. M

    Caught in a difficult situation

    So you still didn't tell her you're poly and have a girlfriend? Ugh. I am going to be blunt here. The #1 thing I figured out between age 21 and 41 (now) is how to suss out when a guy is actually seeing someone else and being vague about it. (I mean, I think I figured that out by age 28, but...
  6. M

    Poly lost in the sex shuffle

    Are you dating as a couple (one profile) or individual (separate profiles)? As a single poly straight women some years ago, I definitely got many rather desperate-sounding messages from "poly" couples seeking a "bi girl" to "join their relationship." I am not bi. I also got many pushy messages...
  7. M

    Bed size issues. (hopefully I'm putting this is the right thread)

    Even with just a two-person couple, I would not be sharing a bed with a partner who was getting up and coming to bed at wildly different times than me. I would need 2 bedrooms and 2 beds (which honestly does not mean there will be less sex and less cuddling, just that there will be more good...
  8. M

    Fake News

    Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference between a situation where someone is deliberately spreading lies about an ex and someone who is giving their honest perspective but their perspective seems very warped or skewed. Like, deliberate misinformation versus someone whose perspective is not...
  9. M

    Roommate threatening to "out" me to my husband (lmao)

    I am confused how you ended up in a housing situation with roommates who don't all know your dating situation? Who moved in first? Seems like your roommates should have been made aware if your boyfriend joined the household, since relationship dynamics affect everyone in a house. Or, if a...
  10. M

    Poly Triad help

    She's trying to please you because she thinks that's what she has to do in order to keep the relationship with your husband. She is clearly not into you sexually--I cringed reading this because it sounds like she's doing something she doesn't really want to do. Just because things didn't work...
  11. M

    First Date Night

    I need a little more info. What do you mean by "first" date night? The first time all three of you are going out in public as an official, romantic triad? I assume since you call her your girlfriend that you have already spent a lot of time together and established a triad relationship? You are...
  12. M

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    I didn't realize MisterMoonbeam had sons! Was his partner who passed away their mother, or were they from a previous relationship?
  13. M

    Does marriage affect autonomy in Polyamory?

    Living unmarried / solo poly is always what has appealed to me, but aside from the autonomy for myself, I don't want to be married to one partner and NOT married to another (now hypothetical) partner. Nor do I want my partner to be married to me and not to a metamour. Poly just seems simpler...
  14. M

    Rule has been broken... What to do?

    You are focusing WAY too much blame on the woman here, and not enough on your husband. The woman is a stranger--you never have to deal with her again. Your husband acted like a moron, frankly. Open marriages and rule-breaking are one thing, but even if he were single, would he decide to not use...
  15. M

    Does marriage affect autonomy in Polyamory?

    Her position in his life isn't changing...but isn't your position changing, by virtue of the fact that you will then be his legal and socially acknowledged wife? I think that is the main issue with a poly person being married to their partner...it means one relationship is simply different than...
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