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Cheating is breaking explicit or implicit rules. The rules - and consent - are negotiable and can change, but only continue to work if there is mutual agreement. One person unilaterally changing the rules or breaking them is cheating. The other person(s) can decide to accept this or not, and...

I sincerely hope you find a way to get what you want without destroying or irretrievably harming this relationship. You deserve it - but we don't always get what we deserve. The righteous approach would be to tell him that he's tried it, and now you get to do so as well. He has to deal with his...

This is all absolutely true, but you have to be willing to lose this relationship if you don't take his feelings into account. Does your happiness include keeping this relationship? Or is developing other relationships more important to you? You may not get to have both, in which case you have...

Yes, it's cheating if she pursues someone else. Her choice is then to cheat or divorce him so that it's not cheating. She previously made a promise to him, and he is not releasing her from the promise. She can only release herself by ending the marriage.

My gf L drove me to the airport so I could go visit gf F who was overseas for a month working. When F and I returned from that trip, F's bf J picked us up from the airport. I went to see L while F and J had a reunion.

You are saying you want sex with others, but also seem to be saying that you don't necessarily want more than that - at least not at this time, and you are not necessarily looking for a poly relationship. It seems like you may want an open relationship. What does your bf want - have you...

How long have you been married? Given the income discrepancy, I'd suggest immediately contacting a divorce lawyer, file for divorce, and ask for spousal support. Stay in the home and ask for a temporary order that she pay the mortgage until this is settled. Be strong and ask for more than you'll...

Check the laws, news, and precedents in your state. Children have been taken from a parent who is poly before - and I think I've heard of a case recently. This may need a lawyer's opinion, since your ex could be unreasonable, and if he makes a complaint to social services, it will have to be...

Oh, I like this! It solidifies very succinctly what my wife and I think and feel. We are open to it, but don't have to have it, and we don't have to actively pursue it unless we want to at the time. We (either or both) may find it - and have - but it isn't a tragedy if we don't.

I suspect that poly marriage is a long way off. SSM should have been an easy, quicker decision since it's an equal protection issue, really. No-one has a right of poly marriage now, so there is no discrimination going on. A first step would be to eliminate laws restricting or penalizing more...

Most swinger parties and clubs discriminate against single men, because otherwise there'd be several single men for every woman and couple present. Maybe this problem doesn't arise in some locations, but it's a real problem here. Not only do single men have to pay a higher amount for admission...

My wife and I had both read many of Robert A. Heinlein's books in the 60s and 70s, and the responsible non-monogamy portrayed appealed to us. So when we met and got together in 2000, it was something we discussed and both wanted to explore, and since that coincided with an opportunity to do so...

In our case, the plus is that loving other people helps us appreciate each other all the more. This probably isn't the case for everyone, however. The negative is that we spend time with other people, and unless that can be scheduled for the same times (or if only one of us has another partner)...

The one real oddity I can point to is that EVERY woman I dated after my ex (and I'm talking about 8 or 9) did not have pierced ears. Fast forward a dozen years, and my FWB has no piercings either. This was never a factor in my selection, it just happened to be a strange coincidence discovered...

I agree with the above. Rather than one house, perhaps a small gated development with separate homes? People do like their privacy and distance, while also enjoying a sense of neighborhood and community when compatible neighbors can be found. Or perhaps these could be more like vacation...

Are you planning on an age range limitation? How about children? Welcome, or not?

I/we might really like one or two people living in such an arrangement, if we're lucky - what do we do about the rest? :confused: It's certainly more manageable with separate, private apartments (of various sizes to accommodate different needs), while having a shared social area if/when you...

There are no limits to love - how many, how much, etc. There ARE limits to time, and that can be even harder to manage than jealousy, IMO. One partner can feel neglected if they suddenly have much less of a partner's attention, and a new partner may want even more time than they're getting...

I'm part of a long-term couple, and I have had a single straight female FWB for several years. She has recently expressed an interest in moving towards a poly relationship with us, which is fine with us as we both like her and respect her very much. My wife and I have talked about this and know...

I don't think I've lost anything, except limits on my freedom and thinking. We are older and live far from other family, so we have simply kept our lifestyle quiet, informing only some close friends and some people we interact with frequently and trust. We also live in the "Bible Belt" so...