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That is fascinating, Spork. With regards to my two past partners with sexual dysfunction, one of them had circulation damage due to diabetes and past heavy drinking, and the other one also had low testosterone that may not have been treated properly. Second one also was probably not very...

Thanks so much, CTF and Tinwen and kdt for your input and suggestions. kdt, husband did try topical testosterone for over a year. It stopped working. That happens in a small amount of patients. His doctor thought that the time-released implants were not very effective, so the only delivery...

Thanks for your response, CTF. I guess what I don't get is his obvious trouble coming to grips with the fact that he has problems. His sexual problems started in 2006. It's been ten years! In that time, he's seen one internist and two urologists, and a sex therapist for almost two years. He had...

So my husband and I have been on a long journey with dealing with his erectile dysfunction. A little over a decade ago, I noticed that his sexual response was suddenly very different, and I asked him to see his doctor. He procrastinated and stonewalled, and eventually went for a checkup and...

Thanks for your supportive words, galagirl and Kevin T. Galagirl, mostly I don't want to think he's an idiot if he takes J. back He's not. And I have certainly done some stupid things when I was in love. I really don't mind C. confiding in me the way he does, we have always had a relationship...

You definitely have a point, nycindie. I don't want C to feel like a failure if his marriage does break up despite his best efforts. He does ask me for advice. He will fret about his marriage being less physically affectionate and less communicative, than it used to be. And I have tried to...

I hardly think supporting a partner's marriage staying intact equates to valuing a contract over people, nycindie. It's not a contract. It's over 20 years together, two children who are still at home and most likely would prefer to continue to live with both parents, it's finances that I know...

Thanks, Karen. I am really hoping they can save their marriage, or at least delay separation until the kids are grown and off to college. I won't hold it against a partner if their marriage fails, although I don't want to be the collateral damage there either. Why do I love C? Well, he's kind...

I'm one of two girlfriends that C has, plus a wife. C and I have been together about a year now, and the other girlfriend has been with him about that long too. His marriage is over 20 years old. C's marriage was stable when we both started dating him, but it has deteriorated over the past year...

Hi Galagirl. I am actually leaning towards option number 1. I know some on here think that is a bad idea, but I actually want to see if she is willing to respect my time with him as I have always done for her. If she kicks up a fuss, to him, then let him see who she really is. My theory is that...

I just read it, kdt, thanks. It does sound like her. It also sounds a lot like my sister in law, who knew? Inyourendo, for heaven's sake. I didn't SEE him. I wasn't sleeping with him. I backed off on the physical relationship completely out of respect for his wife, who was not comfortable with...

Inyourendo, his wife was otherwise occupied. They had schedules that did not coincide much. Otherwise, it would not have happened. Not that I have to defend myself to you, but that was what was going on. Nycindie, I honestly don't know much about bipolar. My partner has described my metamour...

I did not "come into his life as a stranger," after we took a break from seeing each other, inyourendo. We talked every single day, all summer long. For hours, typically. I just did not see him, out of respect for his wife and her struggles at that time. We continued the relationship we had...

Nycindie, sorry. I did read your suggestions, I was just dealing with some of the other posts on here. I like what you suggested about simply requesting that he not let non-emergency texts interrupt us and not single out anyone in particular. I will certainly ask for that at least when we are on...

If someone puts someone I love in potential danger, I am damned well going to butt in. She blocked me, fine. I don't want to be friends with someone whose emotional age is about twelve anyway. If she'd stop trying to interrupt my dates, there wouldn't be an issue.

Metamour did communicate with me a little bit to start with, inyourendo. We had one brief chat online, and then he brought her to a social event at my house. She was pretty standoffish there and did a couple of odd things but overall it was fine. Then, about a week later, she made some demands...

I did have compassion for her. I would have been her pal if she had ever been open to that, but she didn't even want to talk to me. (And yes, this woman calls herself poly.) My compassion pretty much ended when she tried to cause trouble in my relationship with him. Once a metamour tries to...

Graviton, I do not expect all texts to cease during my time with him. If his wife or kids need to reach him I am fine with it. And it is not just his phone lighting up, it's beeping too if he hasn't remembered to turn it off, and he generally leaves it on during waking hours. In the middle of...

He didn't actually vent to me about her, GalaGirl. I'm the one who calls her "the princess," not him. He merely told me how exhausted he was, and I knew he had done the extra three hours of driving in order to pick her up for their weekend together, on top of a 12-hour trip. I don't understand...

Magdlyn, she definitely knows he takes sleeping pills to sleep. He has taken them with me every overnight we have had, and he says she sometimes takes the same ones, so they have surely talked about that. He did say he usually turns off his phone sound, so perhaps she was counting on that, but...