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I wish he could do that, inyourendo, just turn off his phone during waking hours. But he has a wife and kids and they need him to be reachable. I have no problem with that, family stuff is family stuff. And his wife almost never contacts him when we are together, she is very respectful. So the...

This is a bit of an odd situation in that metamour and I have some rocky (albeit brief) history. I have been with my boyfriend C for almost a year. He has another girlfriend of about the same longevity, plus a wife of many years. I also have a husband of many years, and another boyfriend who...

I did know he was going to court with her, Galagirl. I just didn't know he was going to testify. He initially made it sound like he was just going along for the ride. And since he's always fretting about how busy and hectic his life is and how hard it is to carve out time for our relationship, I...

About two years ago, I ended my relationship with my local boyfriend because local boyfriend had been an insensitive ass to me and because his wife was being a major toxic bitch to both me and my husband (we had been a quad). I told long-distance boyfriend about what had happened. Long-distance...

Thanks, GalaGirl. I think I make an effort to be "low maintenance" in my non-primary relationships, and the result is that I'm not always forthcoming with my partners about what I need/want. I will definitely be more conscious of this in the future. There are updates to my situation. I talked...

Hi MightMax. I made it crystal clear when I met C. that I do not do casual relationships, ever, ever, ever. And he has paid a lot of lip service to having a serious relationship with me. The problem is, the actions don't match. The other day, he asked me when my birthday was. I told him (it...

Thanks, GalaGirl. I did send him a message yesterday requesting that if he was not going to put equivalent time and effort into both his secondary relationships, that I reserved the right to not hear about it. He wants to talk today, and I will listen, I guess. But the problem for me, as I see...

Do you really see this as a respect issue, nycindie? How so? It sort of feels that way but I can't think of any rationale for my feelings, maybe you can? He never promised me X amount of time, nothing like that. I just assumed that anyone who wanted two fairly new relationships to work would put...

Candiedlove, you are making assumptions that are just not correct. First off, other girlfriend is not alone. She had a husband until literally this week, when he moved out. She also has another long-term boyfriend who lives about a half hour from her. My long-distance boyfriend lives 3 hours...

And I would agree with you about resources, MightMax, if the other relationship was long term. But it is not. And I spent untold hours talking to him all summer. I didn't drop him at all. I just wasn't seeing him and sleeping with him the way she was. Nope, I was the one trying to give him...

And another thing that bugs me is, the reason C is farther along in his relationship with the other girlfriend is that she didn't do the right thing the way I did. I pulled back when he was having issues in his marriage, stayed his friend virtually but didn't see him. She didn't, she went right...

I don't know, inyourendo. I am just starting to realize that a lot of the time I have had with him may have been because she wasn't available, or because she didn't want to do a particular thing that he wanted to do. We went to a concert last month of some weird music that I would never have...

Hi Bluebird. I am really not ok with always meeting halfway. I just assumed that since I was dating a guy who was an hour and a half away and since he couldn't host me at his house, that I'd be doing some traveling. And you are right, I am comparing. I found out recently that he drove an hour...

I met my boyfriend C. last May, but after nonsexual two dates we put things on hold a bit because his wife was having some issues surrounding being poly. I wasn't confident that they would get through them, so I elected to take the summer off from our relationship and he agreed. We kept in close...

Here is what commitment would look like in this picture for me. I would like to know that OSO wants to continue having the same amount of time we have had and won't jeopardize that by having other relationships that can't coexist with ours without starving ours of time. If he can have other...

This is a really interesting thought, candiedlove, and one I have often wondered about. I'm one of those people who would have trouble considering someone as "primary" unless they lived with me. I cannot figure out a way to have this happen with my OSO. Even if he were open to relocating to my...

Candiedlove, I don't consider my boyfriend's finances my business. We split expenses on our evenings away from home. I just do not want to lose time with him. We have had one overnight date a month for the past year and I know he does not feel that he can be away more than that. We haven't even...

Thanks KC. I talked to OSO last night and found out that GG is a 22 year old UNDERGRAD. Boyfriend is 41. I had assumed that she was late 20s, not early. They had fun playing Magic together and he said she was great with his kids. Of course she was, she isn't much older than they are! He didn't...

So I got bit by the green-eyed monster really bad today, even though there really isn't anything to be jealous of, yet. I am in a very long-term marriage with a man I adore and we have children together. I also love my OSO, whom I have been seeing for about a year. He's kind, caring, low...

I am dating someone I would like to be lovers with, but he is a higher risk for STDs than I am normally comfortable with. He attends swinger parties, is bisexual, and has a female partner who has HSV2. He uses condoms for penetrative sex at the parties and with his other partner, but does not...