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Wow Kevin, that is SUPER INSIGHTFUL and I love it! Thank you so much! Cuts right through the fog and is really heartfelt. *highfive* "Let the route chose itself..." Okay, I'm pumped!

As I read back over my replies it becomes clear that: I would very much enjoy a full-spectrum* emotional experience that plays out over an unconventional time line. I also want to nurture a relationship that is enjoyable and sustainable in the time** I am available to give. So, alternatively...

First of all, thank you all who have added to this thread so far. I've gleaned that I'm on the right track but simply lack the experience to have confidence in knowing so. That said I feel I could certainly soak up more wisdom so I will expand on some replies... Kevin - what do I want? I...

That's fair so here goes. I am in two committed relationships. I'm married and live with my wife. Every other weekend I am with my current girlfriend, as well as one other week night in between. Thus my weekends are pretty much spoken for leaving me with a weeknight (and rare weekend...

Hi Gang, It's been a LONG time since I posted here. I have been in a poly-fidelitous quad that started in swinger roots for three years. Fall 2014 our quad broke into two V's and for over a year that has been working better and better for us. Three years of polyamory under my belt and I'm...

Hey Em, you are absolutely right. When it rains it pours...when it's great it's utopian. Such is the way I accept it to be. Glad to hear you and your quad are still together. I have high hopes that we will be together as well for a long time to come. At least that is how I approach things...

Interesting question. My particular situation evolved over time where it became LESS comfortable to have the shows of affection present. I'm in a quad that started with 2 swinging couples. As the romantic intensity ratcheted up to full on being in-love with our swapped partners and...

Mister C, I feel ya buddy. I cut my teeth in this regard as a swinger. Our last swinging relationship turned poly for my wife and the other guy. It was made harder by the fact that I did not have chemistry with his wife so that was a real added stressor. From what you are writing I can tell...

Sparklepop I adore this response. Thank you. Since I was the final deciding advocate in the group for taking a month instead of a week (thank god I did NOT only go a week) I truly am forced to accept this break. I KNOW it's what is needed. To be honest I was in a pretty good place the...

Yes. Yes. Yes. Sorta - they are cordial and can spend time together but there's a lot of tension between them from other stressors - so it's not their first choice to spend time together. Still, it's working enough. My relationship with R is stellar. We love and respect each other...

This sounds exactly like advise I would give. That's excellent. Thank you - just a little bit of clarity I could not see for myself in a moment of crisis.

Hey everyone, I've written on here before about my relationship: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=56025 Basically my wife and I were swingers and met another couple March 2013. They were swingers too. The connection was instantaneous and intense. We began a 14 month love...

Stand up I'm sorry, but this won't be what you want to hear. I can say ALL of it because I'm in a world of hurt right now that I too contributed to the making of through my choices for pleasure over responsibility. You have no right to feel cheated. You lied. You chose your own self...

Cherry, I wish you all the best. Every moment is one of our choosing. We always have a choice. Going for the road of peace and happiness, though not always easily passable, is worth persevering through the thorns for.

After reading your story, I get a very real sense that you need to back up a couple of steps. You sound like you have a heavy dose of empathy, which is not a bad thing. However, it seems to be drawing you in too deep. There are things outside of your control here, and though its natural and...

Yeah...she's trying to control HER reality through limiting YOUR actions. That's not cool. If your EX doesn't like her freaking out about the contact then it's between you and him that said contact stops. If SHE was your friend then I'd say it was a different story. But until your EX says to...

Wow dude! That was an amazing story! Thank you so much for sharing all that!!! I just came back to check the thread and BAM! Very inspiring!

That resonates with me as well. I've been in long-term relationships since 1992 pretty much non-stop. I've always considered myself independent, by the fact that I, me, myself choose to be in a particular relationship just as the person I am, with someone who chooses to be in the relationship...

My road to child free Nadya I cannot speak to your "choice" to never have been born yet I can follow it through logically to your struggling over bringing another life into this world without its consent. Philosophically I think it makes a great argument to debate. Lots of wonderful...