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DO I understand correct? The first Mr married but wont tell the wife has ghosted you, and now an ex poly boyfriend is back the picture and also has to go tell the wife? I may be green in the poly scene but instinct tells me you have a pattern going on here of chasing men who's wives don't know...

My wife and I were monogamous for 11 of our 14 years together. We never discussed non monogamy until 3 years ago when I asked to open the relationship for sex with others (not poly). It is real hard for the other person to deal with and we took 3 years to get to the destination. The golden rule...

I'm sure there are many paths to discovering one is poly, however... I also wonder at times whether ''poly'' gets used as a nicer way of saying ''I want to have sex with another or others''... Sort of a more palatable way of asking for permission or excusing some level of cheating. One of the...

Perhaps a logical extrapolation from my comment: ''We did find a very good swingers sex club local and made a couple of visits on non play meet and greet nights. (it was there that she met the guy she saw for 6 weeks actually) but we never did play there''. However I have explained it better in...

You are most welcome, it was an interesting journey, We may or may not return to mexico this year... Very true. Very true. very true. Lots of beer, wine and spirits at the clubs. In mexico we seldom ever did not have a drink in hand ALL DAY and NIGHT with a water in between. because of the...

I personally do not identify as poly in any way. I am interested in and open to sexual encounters with other women on a superficial level. Some feelings as in, affection and caring might happen and be welcome if the person becomes a longer term contact but I do not need or require that in order...

We spent a some time investigating swinging on our opening up journey. My comments only reflect our perceptions and experiences...circa 2018/19 I was keen to try swinging, minxi was, and was not all at the same time. We read a few books and listened to a ton of podcasts made by a good many now...

Why not? What if you changed your mind and wanted to? When we were in our slow process of opening up, I was not cool with the idea of Minxi seeing another man at all. Only women. But I had to reject that one-sided notion. If I wanted the freedom to sleep with other women, she had the right to...

Indeed we opened at my request. Through the 3 year process where it took 3 years before PIV was even allowed we did a lot of detangling and setting rules and then removing them, setting boundaries and then moving them. This was all done before actual intercourse even occurred. These got moved...

Oh thats quite ok! I just imagine you all drawing V's and W's mapping out our triads and quads and god knows what using just wife. BF, SO, and various acronyms and finding that quite mind boggling! so from that angle i concede that 'mary is with tom who is with jane who is with joe who is also...

I would say I agree with this too. I have chosen to follow or accommodate poly in my Minxi's future because I do believe the risk and possible heartache is worth the journey with her. I see great rewards for the work now, in the next 5 years and into old age even. Even though i find it...

Surely if all we need is unfettered freedom and hope with no rules then we don't need any books, groups, support networks and forums. Just one sentence to guide us.

The trouble with 24/7 living is very often you don't even see it happening. It creeps up on you almost out of neccissity of getting by sometimes. Yeah we looked into swinging but never did much that way. We were able to separate love and sex. Minxi needs love or at least a close facsimile of it...

That's Ok :) It's funny, we so seldom ever use each others names on a daily basis. We use stoopid cute nicknames like many couples do. So to think ''name'' is weird...but If can learn to handle poly I can jolly well learn to use names eh? Even as we have been engaged in this thread we continue...

General relationship forums that I have found are heavily populated by monogamists and there is little understanding of open/ poly relationships and much derision. I no longer bother with them in the main. Even the L.A.T community seems to have no safe place other than facebook groups. The FB...

If I were hoping to date another woman in the situation of your Sam, i would say something along the lines of '' Hey, I really like you and don't want to hurt you so I have to tell you I am ethically non monogamous. How do you feel about that? Don't worry, If it scares you off that is perfectly...

yes I'm in poly hell :) There are no guarentees, we both know that. To be honest Minxi could have walk four times in the last 6 years before all this. She left the city for a country life and it has not been all sunshine and lollipops! I am working hard on being less the centre of attention...

I will try to use nicknames. It is not my usual writing style. I have not been able to find the relevant guidlelines about it to read. That said, without being difficult, I don't see how wife and lover or boyfriend is confusing. She is after my 'wife'. However I will do my best to follow suite...

Wow, just wow. It's one thing for a guy to dream of having two women, so common it's a cliche... But Could it be possible that that entire time from the first spit up that he was searching for his magic third he thought he could manipulate as way to get this happening? 5. do you think this...

I will be staying on the hobby farm. It is 90 mins from the city area the new place will be. We do that kind of travel frequently as country folk do. So it's just a short trip :) She will be closer to the previous lover. Again distance doesn't mean too much. Because we also need to run a...