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Cheers! I wondered if anyone would catch that...

There's an app for that! Amusingly enough, someone just sent me a video that illustrates the beta orbiter phenomenon in under two minutes so I had to share. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8teRxOSNHs&feature=player_detailpage

More likely you've just been unlucky enough to attract garden-variety flakes. That could be as simple as a result of being over-eager when you've found someone that claims to be poly. You might consider doubling the amount of "getting to know you" time before agreeing to meet for a date and...

This is a common symptom of a culture exposed to a deluge of sitcoms, romcoms, and chick flicks: too many people circling one another waiting for that "magic moment" to "just happen." If someone simply must have a meet-cute story to tell the grandchildren, I suggest that they hire a...

One doesn't see many healthy poly relationships on online forums for the same reason that one doesn't see too many healthy people at a hospital. It seems to be a part of human nature to talk endlessly about what's wrong with something and very little about what's right with it. That said, if...

Bingo. The trick is knowing when the relationship is actually over and what to do about it. It's the difference between being dead and undead, really. Some relationships end, but the participants keep shambling along in the corpse thinking it's alive. Zombies shuffle about moaning...

I'm not going to delve too deeply in to this situation since I have a near-pathological aversion to lies which might affect the quality of my observations. That said, my advice would be to not make promises to yourself, or anyone else, that you probably won't keep. Leopards may change their...

Your boyfriend is behaving like what is referred to as a 'beta orbiter.' These are the people stuck in someone's permanent friend zone, but keep trying for an upgrade regardless of the target's obvious lack of interest. Google the term, it will probably be quite enlightening for you. His...

Before you even consider what might cause either you or your boyfriend to 'run,' spend a bit of time considering what the two of you are offering his potential girlfriend. He may have no issue with you picking who he dates and controlling his relationship, but she most likely would. A breakup...

The first two things in that list are just peachy, but it's the third one that seems to be the defining characteristic of your relationship in its current state. Only you can decide if the first two things are worth the price of the third. From what you've said so far, she's behaving more like...

Well said Marcus. "Sweat equity" is as close to perfect an analogy as I've seen to describe the phenomenon of relationship building. It doesn't really matter what kind of interpersonal relationship one is entering into, one really does have to "earn" a place through their own efforts. Although...

Seems to me that you're having basically the same problems that a single introvert and single extrovert would have, especially at the start of a relationship. Extroverts are usually always going to be waiting for the introvert to "catch up" in a lot of social situations, as I'm sure you remember...

Sounds like you guys indeed have your ducks in the proverbial row. Very nice to see. Good luck with your relationship, you seem to be starting from a very good place. Move forward with the same common-sense approach and the three of you should do just fine. Hell, you came here for advice but...

It does seem that you're approaching this from the proper perspective and have your head in a good place. That said, the four month mark might be a tad soon to consolidate households. Hey, it might work and can for some people, but that tends to be the exception as opposed to the rule. Have...

Actions speak louder than words. If she incessantly tells you that Jack and yourself are equals relationship-wise but isn't behaving in that manner, then it simply isn't true. The mere fact that she's playing the husband card is all you need to consider. If the rules change that much depending...

If you actually read the content of the post you'll notice that the topic wasn't "how can we find woman X," it was about this couple's puzzlement over the reactions of attached women vs. unattached women to the relationship style they seek. The implication that the people who are being polite...

Wonderfully expressed. It can be just that simple. Very refreshing to see amongst all of the "couple privilege" squealing going on in this and similar threads. Sour grapes make such bitter whine. One of the major problems I've seen among non-monogamists is that so many people seem to be intent...

Nothing weird about it at all. It's a sign that your body is becoming healthier and your tastes are following suit. If you went further and gave up processed foods altogether, you'd be even more shocked at how your tastes in food change. We eat (~95% of the time) a very streamlined whole-food...

A few questions... 1)How happy are you with the relationship when other people aren't involved sexually? I'm not asking what you'd tell your chums or your family when asked, I'm asking what you'd tell a bunch of people on the internet that you'll never meet. 2) What seemed to be the major...

First off, kudos to your wife for overcoming her incredibly sex-negative cultural programming, and kudos to you for being there for her on her journey. Your step by step description of her blossoming was fantastic and inspirational. That said, she runs the risk of moving too quickly I think...