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How long have you been with you husband total? Were you poly since meeting/inception? Does your husband have other partners as well? Sorry about the breakup. Those are never fun. 😟 Was bf familiar with poly prior to dating you? He was ok participating/helping out a poly couple, but deep down...

Hi and welcome to the forum. How many yrs have you been married? How big of a disconnect is/was this libido problem? How many months has your husband been actively dating? Because of the calendar rolling over now, I’m just trying to get perspective on the picture. Any of the golden nuggets...

Yes, we definitely got the RA perspective. 👍😁 Good point. It’s a new tool in the labeling toolbox and people are going to pick it up and apply it however they want. I think people who establish their relationship from the start or early as ENM or poly, with the intention of not having a...

What about you? Would you prefer to be out and to be acknowledged as brother husband/second husband/SO?

That’s great. 🙌👍 How were the holidays overall for you and the kids? Did you do your own thing with them? Are you saying it feels like she’d much rather just move on so she doesn’t have to sort through her possible history or messy feeling, bad communications habits, etc.? She feels acting...

Ok, but even with all the historical nuance or situational nuance, how do you/would you introduce him in a poly group setting? Or does it float depending on the audience? So you're saying husband or wife would be a misleading label or descriptor in your case, if you’re trying to deliberately...

Yes all those I’ve known practicing RA took that beyond “ emphasis “ …more like radical freedom and autonomy. Remember Marcus ? My exact thought in regards to the mono poly couple in the video I saw. I guess they have the right to use the label under the principle of RA but those getting...

So the reason you’re in the closet is in deference / consideration to brother husbands public image ?

Because google knows everything what I’ve commented on here or emailed various friends my YouTube page has a great variety of videos to watch and recently there were some on a poly mono couple converting a 17 yr marriage which I guess happened a few yrs back at this point( google / YouTube was a...

Yes, and the sticky part is how that pain/hurtfulness is graded on the other side. Is it taken as a one-off paper cut, or is it filed as a growing pattern? WOW... What a great point. Never thought of it that way. Really demonstrates the power/gravitational pull of NRE. I think overwhelming...

I just meant in that moment something which would be “big enough"/time-sensitive enough to take you out of that moment. Do you think it might have mattered if he had known? Say you made another choice, and grabbed your phone and texted straight away. Why bizarre? Because it hadn’t happened to...

I want to applaud you for admitting or acknowledging some not-so-flattering behavior. All too often, there’s a chorus of "Try keep your NRE in check," and then the glossing over of "I’ve made some mistakes/caused some damage under the influence of NRE,“ not a specific situation with possible...

Ho and welcome to the forum 😁👍 How long were you involved with this woman before coming clean to the spouses? You mean anything physical, correct? Edit : another member sent me this podcast today and after listen to it I think it’s well worth the time to listen if people want to transition an...

Wow it’s funny to see a quote from me on a thread I didn’t post on. 😝🤭 That being said, I think the overall topic here is the communicating expectations vs a hard personal boundary. Aligning expectations with the use and enforcement of boundaries. But this scale gets super wonky in...

Those are taken into account the minute the bomb goes off, trust me. Generally children are the biggest factor. Second place is money and finances. This comes from poly-bombed guys I’ve personally talked with, not studied data. Okay, great. But then there’s this ugly thing called the real world...

As mentioned prior my intention wasn’t to be cruel. snarky yes. But doesn’t the evolution of the thread / exchange sort of demonstrate the exact point that a fragility or hyper sensitivity exists ?? Thank you yes. Now take that thought plus 10-12 yrs of investment or commitment to rowing...

Yes, I vaguely recall one of those. How long have you and your wife been married? When and why did you decide to open your relationship? How much research/study did you do on the various stumbling points, i.e., jealousy, insecurity, risks, etc., before opening up? With all you’ve written in...

How many ex-husbands are there?

Hi and welcome to the forum. The title: was this some sort of triad, or was it a business partnership? How long have they been actively open or poly? Are or were they both dating other people? Do you know what prompted him to want to close the relationship? We see people get dumped and then...

Sure, whatever will drive productivity and reduce conflict. In fact, I’m sure there are lots of applications where you’d want someone with ADHD to be hyper-focused and engaged. Yes, think he did an amazing job outlining all that. I seriously think it should be added as a resource for those...