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Links too other posts that should really be here for context and to keep you updated. http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=89673&highlight=BathedInSalt"]Talking about fear:[/URL] http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=90323&highlight=BathedInSalt"]Asking for commiseration...

Dean and I have kissed and made up. Here's what worked: Space. It didn't take much space, but I imagine this might always work. Dean taking time to look at this himself. He took a break from work by the water, bought himself a kombucha, sat, drank, thought, even wrote notes for when we would...

Nail on the head. I never thought if it as a learned behavior. I'm not even sure why? Maybe because I learned it as a toddler? Then it was a behavior praised by my Christian upbringing. I've dealt with many behaviors like that, good hearted qualities that um...don't serve me well at all. I'll...

Interesting thought. I think I use sex as a bandaid to soothe myself more than Dean. Maybe it just reads as entirely selfish! This behavior has been reinforced because it almost always works. Not with Dean though and how awesome is that, because now I have to face this and figure it out. I...

I don't mean to be rude, but I can happily say you've got us all wrong :D here are some things: NRE: I'm not feeling this at all outside of the renewed/walls blasted open relationship I currently have with Dean. I'm not in any new relationships. I'm dating (1 man so far if you don't count my...

I'm not sure where this belongs so I'm going to post it here. On my life's journey it would have been so great to know certain things about myself before making big life choices. I lacked the self-awareness, the access to information, and the support. I committed my life to others before...

Dean and I had our first bump in the road (the road being our transition from a monogamous marriage to conscious polyamory). We both knew these types of things were going to happen. We knew despite our best intentions of talking out every detail the one of us would do something that the other...

The best advice I can give is to have patience and practice great communication. What I'm finding during my time in transition to conscious polyamory is the more my husband and I talk and the slower we go the better our relationship is.

May I ask what kind of drama you ran into? I am that nesting partner and want to avoid drama. I'll take any advice.

These are actually super helpful questions to me right now as I'm re-evaulating so many things. I'd been firmly working from a monogamy model, but in retrospect it's not a model I've ever puzzle piece fit into. Now I have these ideas of what a poly model might look like, I can see which models...

I love this. Just last night I was sitting with Dean and was thinking of how much brighter life seems to be now. We are new, we have a lot more poly experiences to navigate, but even if we don't have any of those experiences, even if we decided this wasn't for us after all, our lives are...

I spent a week on a dating site, seeing what's out there. I made a handful of connections. I deactivated my account the other day and felt a great deal of relief. I had started to feel pressure to return messages and be respectful, but that's not where I should be putting my energy at the...

Dean and I had the most beautiful moment last night where he voiced his feelings of the heaviness of freedom. I took this as a compliment and also felt relieved to have him join me in that space. I went into this worried it might destroy us, but instead we are strengthened. It is so...

I'm remembering my youth pastors frightening us away from pre-marital sex! lol It's good to be reminded of your risks, though.

helps bunches thank you both for sharing

The list of everything my husband and I are re-evaluating: True Love, Romance, My Needs, babymaking, poly marriage, Forever, couplism, One Big Family, control issues, The Spark, secrecy, furtiveness Noobs....thank goodness you take time for the shipwrecked. Sure, I could stumble around on my...

When you've been conditioned to perceive jealousy as a sign of affection and hierarchy as a sign of importance in what ways could I convey to my partners their importance? In general actions and words, but with differing love languages to contend with I'm looking for some concrete ideas. This...

Yes, a true platonic friendship has so much value and I'm working towards that its Blue. It helps that I'm listening to me gut reactions and seeing that he wouldn't make a good partner for me in a poly situation, seeing the flags, dealing with reality. Also though just changing perspective from...

...and then all of a sudden I freaked out. It'll all be fine. I think I just had a little information overload, too much to synthesize at once. but it did make me wanna hit the breaks a bit and that's ok

You've all made me think, better than that you've aided discussion with Dean. Thank you for sharing. At the end of the day I just want to avoid hurting anyone. I think that having as many discussions with Dean and as possible -knowing what we want- will be helpful. I think reaching some...