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Please remember (and this is is for everyone, not necessarily just for you to hear IP), we had a successful poly family for 6 years. Not to mention 6 years of poly before that. It was not a failed relationship. In no way do I believe any of us are without fault or were the images of poly...

That was years ago and a snap shot of a moment. Way too much has happened since. We have both had our fair share of sharing the load. My story of when there was a shift was the beginning of the story. Not the entire story.

Thanks, LR. Your words always seem to resonate with my situation. I am grateful for that. I will look at what you said and see if some of it is worth saying to PN in the way you said it. Most of what you said I have told him, in my way. But he can't hear it. He doesn't reach out to people with...

Well said, LR. I am putting all of 'me' aside so that this can work out in LB's best interest. I am here as an example of the best that can be and to help not repeat the cycle that both PN, his mother and his gf have experienced, i.e., leaving because of a break-up. This is an era and time we...

I have spent a good deal of time getting together a way that PN can move out without us being destitute. He has again said he has to leave and has not made plans other than to tell our son and keep telling me that. I was beginning to find it manipulative, so I decided to be proactive. I told our...

Damn I hate reading back and finding mistakes in my grammar. Grrrrr. :eek: Thanks, MFFR. :)

People have asked me about Mono. Is he Poly now? Mono doesn't talk about what he is and what he isn't. He has turned into an uncommunicative man in many ways. Communication happens in short periods of time and with purpose. No long drawn out conversations about emotions for us. It is just not...

Poly has fucked me over. It has turned everything that was love in abundance into scarcity and hate. I had no idea that I would end up left with so little after building so much. What I create can be melted away like a wave over a sand castle. Being prepared to let go of ever holding on to it...

Sorry about the delete last time. PN is struggling. He's lashing out about the years of what he considers being "led" by me and what I wanted, when he consented along the way and is equally responsible for where he is now. He is angry and resentful and says I neglected him and dismissed him to...

Deleted. Sorry folks. Another time :)

hm, thanks... here it is again. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIkvdjZOuZc Thanks for writing. :) interesting thoughts.

Thoughts on trust: Trust is earned, and not easy to rebuild once lost. I intend to trust myself first. I intend to look inside myself and listen to my heart. There is a line that can be drawn in my boundaries of tolerance and compassion. I intend to take note of it always, as I don't want to...

Are you trying to fill avoid with this relationship? by Abraham Hicks This. Does the relationship serve me because I have my own thing going on, and someone else fits that, or do I serve the relationship by force-fitting myself into it, simply to be in a relationship? Not sure I like the...

I know, right?! I am just starting that trip. I heed your warning and advice. I have an emotional rollercoaster boy most days, these days. Then sometimes he will give me a big hug and my baby is back. I know it's a matter of time and he and I will be out on our own.

Codependency is a mindset and a lifestyle choice, just as autonomy is, I have come to think. If I feel as if my life is my own, that I could set myself up just fine without whoever being in my life, make choices that consider my others, yet keep faithful and loyal to myself (integrity to the...

More thoughts to remember: "I have been over and over definitions and descriptions of poly over the years, and it seems to me that the only thing to rely on in defining poly is that it means being drawn to many loves. The only thing that defines monogamy is being drawn to one. Everything else...

I wrote this piece below recently and was quite proud of my accumulated thoughts. Still accumulating. Context: I am one of the most loyal people I know, so I wanted to figure out what it meant to me in terms of other people's loyalty to me and what loyalty means to others. I was surprised to...

A new year and a new age as I turned 45 last month and celebrated six years with Mono. (That is six years here, too!) It's funny to say that, as I don't feel I am "with" anyone. But whatever... it is what it is. Starting the new year off with the resolution to be so incredibly NOT busy that I...

So sorry, Sage. I completely missed this before. Thanks for writing. Life after poly, huh? It's a concept I don't think is discussed often. I am not sure where I am with the whole thing. One thing I do know is that I have been hurt badly too and it has put me off entirely for now. Poly as a...

Aww, LR, I'm so sorry you are in pain. :( It makes me sad for you. I am so glad you are writing here and taking the chance to be supported by your online friends. :) Chin up, girl. You've been through lots but always pull through. You'll pull through this too and be stronger and wiser for it...