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It sounds like your relationship is not very satisfying for you, and your partner is acting selfishly. Personally, I don't think I would stay with a partner who behaves as you describe in bed, regardless of the possibility that it's somehow a reaction to something else in the relationship. It...

Thanks, Galagirl. Yeah, breakups suck. On the other hand, I had been feeling for a while like I wasn't getting what I needed -- and was questioning whether he was right for me aside from that, but felt guilty breaking up with him because it felt like kicking someone when he's down given his...

It definitely doesn't sound like the marriage is dead. You sound very positive about your hubby, and his upset about your interest in poly shows he still has strong feelings for you, too. He just needs to get used to the new information -- and you need to keep showing him that although you're...

I don't think he's trying to ghost, exactly. I think a) he's conflict averse in general and just went through a lot of relationship discussion with his wife so doesn't feel like doing any now; b) he probably isn't as excited about our relationship now that we're out of the NRE phase, so less...

I had communicated that I was feeling disconnected from him and hurt by the fact that he seemed to want to spend less time with me. I told him that I understood if he couldn't do it right away because of his stress about the divorce, but that sometime soon I was going to need some reassurance...

Hi everyone, Sorry for the long post here. As some of you may recall from my previous posts, I have been in a relationship with my Aspie partner, BF, for about 2.5 years. When we met, he had been with his wife for about two years, and although they had been open for most of that time, it was...

Ladyjane, It's not clear to me from your posts whether your guy is actually insisting that you meet his other partner, or whether he's just encouraging it. It also doesn't sound like you've had a lot of discussion with him to clarify what you both want out of this relationship. If you really...

I agree with GalaGirl. When I met my now-ex-husband, we were living in different states. So I moved here to be with him, and immediately started a really demanding job. I never really made any close friends. We had a hobby we both enjoyed, and some people we socialized with through that, but I...

Definitely no need to apologize, doglover. People want to help...and seeing how things work in other relationships can help readers spot potential issues in their own before they become so painful. FWIW, I agree with the other posters that the problem here is Red. If I were you, I'd not only...

I'd be upset if the feelings were jealousy of my relationship with the person, or general bad day type stuff. If a death in the family or something like that where my partner would want to cancel for any friend, then I'd totally understand that (and presumably it wouldn't happen often enough to...

Thanks, everyone, for your responses. I was pretty happy in spite of the Asperger's issues until about six weeks ago, when I decided to see him less often because I was finding it difficult to spend time with him without getting sucked into the drama of his marriage falling apart. Before then...

Haha - thanks Sunray! Ravenscroft: unfortunately, he does not see a therapist or have any kind of regimen. My understanding is he did have a therapist or counselor of some kind diagnose him when he was a child, but he never went to therapy -- I'm not sure why. I've suggested he see someone, but...

Hi everyone, I'm wondering if anyone here has tried to have a poly relationship with a partner who has Asperger's syndrome (a mild type of autism that affects the ability to read social cues, access and discuss emotions, and deal with tasks requiring planning and organization). Especially in a...

Your concerns sound normal and reasonable to me. Maybe meet on neutral ground next time. Also, I think it's reasonable to tell your partner, "I'm not comfortable right now with seeing you do PDA with your other partner. I'm happy to spend more time with the two of you, but I need you not to do"...

I'd like to echo what opalescent said about unicorn hunting, and extend it to "secondary" partners in general. It sounds like you and your partner are sexually incompatible, so you're looking to open your relationship in order to solve that problem. He's looking for a willing vagina; you may be...

I looked into this a while back (so my info may be out of date) when I dated a partner who disclosed that he was a herpes carrier. Apparently he gave his college GF herpes. (Turned out that he hadn't been tested since the current tests were developed, and once he later was tested, he found out...

Presumably when he said "all parties" he meant you and him. Both that, and the unrealistic expectation of total equality, suggests to me he is not thinking of this desired unicorn as a person with her own needs and rights. It sounds like he's stressing that both you and he have veto power to...

So sorry you're going through this, Sage. Your meta's behavior sounds similar to mine (although mine hasn't threatened suicide that I know of). I do think it's a way of making sure that the hinge knows he will be sorry if he doesn't give her lots of attention and complete control. It may not be...

I'm not sure it's true that everyone still wants sex after a year. My sex drive starts high then drops precipitously around then. So maybe she does still love you. (Not sure how you know she still does her husband -- maybe she doesn't very often, or maybe she does out of obligation, but doesn't...

I agree with Lunabunny that the back-and-forth about his trip with his new sweetie sounds like gaslighting. In my experience as the new sweetie (to a guy who is married, and whose discussions with his wife were initially a little unclear about what being "open" meant to them), going away...