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It seems to me that the best time to bring it up would be when she starts talking about moving out. If you've all been getting along great then you can have the talk and if she isn't interested she can go ahead with the move. I think even if she's open-minded, it's awkward (at least for a while)...

One more thought: the two of you could consider seeing each other less -- say, once every couple of weeks. Why might this be better, when he says you don't see each other enough already? I had been seeing my BF twice a week, including one weekend overnight date, until recently, and I think it's...

This really resonated with me. When my BF and I first met, I had two good friends who lived in the apartment downstairs from me. I moved into the apartment above them in large part to be near them, and we agreed that since they are more social and we are all close, I could have a key and come in...

Others may be right that the two of you just have incompatible needs, but as a person who is in a somewhat analogous situation to your BF's, here are a few things to think about. You say that earlier in your relationship you were able to spend more time with him. My experience is that I was...

It does sound like you're not happy with the amount of time and intimacy that you're getting from your partner. A few things to think about before throwing in the towel: - Have you talked to her about wanting more time? You say that she spends half her free day with you, doing other things --...

Agree that he's being unreasonable because it's a double standard, and that you should try to figure out why he made the request in the first place. And why now? What changed in your living situation or his feelings that made this seem useful to him? Also, I assume that you've been together for...

Hi Joe, If you haven't done so already, I think both you and your girlfriend should do some reading about polyamory in general, and about dealing with jealousy specifically. (The website More Than Two has some good stuff on this.) Jealousy tends to be a manifestation of one of a number of other...

I don't think you're overthinking. Seeing someone almost every day for a week sounds unusual when he has two other partners. If he doesn't do a good job of maintaining his connection with his other partners, it can come back to bite you in the ass (see my Intro post), even if you don't get...

I agree with Galagirl's suggestions. It's great that you both want to work on things, but it sounds like you haven't gotten much clarity on how this is all going to work. Better to really think about what you want, and then have some discussions with him and his GF about what they want, and try...

Just an update for anyone who is curious -- shortly after writing my last post, I decided that I needed some distance. I told BF that I didn't feel he could be a good partner while there's so much uncertainty and intense relationship discussion in his relationship. I also told him that given the...

So your husband says that he is "not giving up" on you and your relationship. But he refuses to consider any of your suggestions for how to make the situation work? And you asked him to move back in with you, but that hasn't happened? Forget what he says. What does his behavior tell you? Is he...

If you both want to work on things, perhaps it would be helpful for you both to do some reading on polyamory. The More Than Two website is a great resource, also books on Amazon (the ones that come to mind are quick read by Cunning Minx, and a book called Opening Up -- there's also a book called...

Thanks, Magdlyn. I don't feel overwhelmed from counseling BF -- it's the kind of thing I like doing for my friends, and I think I'm helping him a lot because it's hard for him to process his emotions and think about his own needs. Also, by being involved I've been hoping to reduce the chances...

Thanks, everyone. I feel like a homewrecker because I worry that BF put too much of his energy into his relationship with me, and his connection with Wife suffered. (Although it's really on him/them, because they both could have made more of an effort to spend quality time together, and I even...

Hi everyone, I'm dragonette. I'm an early 40s, hetero cis female living in New York City. I was in a monogamous long-term relationship and marriage with a great guy for 11 years (mid-20s to mid-30s). We're still friends. Since our split, finding people I want to date has been difficult. Finding...

You think you love him because you had six good years together. My guess is that during that time neither of you experienced a significant health issue, a job loss and long-term unemployment, or other significant challenge. Now you are finally experiencing a challenge, and he is showing that he...

Keep in mind that NRE can have a significant impact on a person's desire for sex. I think for many people, it's a modest difference, but for me and some people I know, it's quite dramatic - I go from being into it all the time to being able to go without for months even when I'm happy in the...

This. But it's not just a struggle in my own head -- I am trying to get my needs met, but it feels like a constant struggle. Because every time there is a conflict, they assume that its my time with him that should be reduced, and I have to then try to convince him that there's a problem with...

acon 21422 Sage, I can empathize with your situation because my partner also is married to a woman who seems to feel that she owns him and his time, and has the right to tell him what he can and can't do with me. The examples are much less significant -- which nights he can spend, etc. -- but...