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It's true. I'm now in Santiago in Chile and I went to a poly picnic. They also have board game nights. It was very nice to be able to talk about poly and other deep conversations. Somebody brought a card game where we'd pick a card and answer a question related to emotional topics etc. Even...

It feels like new relationship energy to me, he sounds a bit blinded. Have they seen each other for more than 1-2 years? Like others said, all your feelings are valid. Maybe it's time for discussing about boundaries with him if you're no longer comfortable with how you feel in the relationship...

Hi. It's all about what you feel and what you're able to accept. I would discuss with her about how you feel and try to find a way that both of you are happy. This said, I don't have all the information, but it sounds like she's rushing into this. It really looks like she is in a high NRE. It...

Hi Hugging Tree, Your message touches me a lot. I feel sad for you that your husband wouldn't accept if you had a relationship with someone else. To me, this is not polyamorous behavior at all. The irony is that you talk like a polyamorous person. The way you describe your husband's lover, it...

Have you considered dating someone else in addition to him to get more company time?

Thanks for continuing the conversation here. The article is interesting but I would rather use "accept" or "let go" instead of "care less". It seems more compatible with love this way because then you can still care for someone by helping when they need help while accepting that they have self...

Ha, I think you're spot on! Of course it would still be good to discuss with Bass to see what's going on but this would be a good thing to validate with him. But at the end of the day, you'll have to decide whether or not you're happy with the constraints this poly/mono relationship might have...

You are right that most would think that way. However I wouldn't assume or take anything for granted in polyamory. You have all the rights to desire this basic need but I think you should have a serious conversation with Bass to make it clear how important it is for you. Considering that it...

It doesn't make a ton of sense to me either that Sage can do overnight with him but not you. It wouldn't hurt to talk to Sage for sure if they're cool but really the problem comes from Mulie who doesn't seem to want to have contact and discuss boundaries with you so it's hard to feel that...

I would personally not try to care less, at least not the with the definition that caring is to give to someone or attend their needs. To me, to care is to love. To me it's more about not taking anyone for granted. But maybe that's what you mean too since caring can mean to attach a lot of...

Have you talked to E about how you feel and to get an update on how they're feeling and seeing where all this is going?

When you say it's not possible to have an overnight, did he give you the reason? I thought he couldn't because of an agreement with Mulie, but then I don't understand why he can't with you, if he can with Sage.

Even if he doesn't want to be with someone else overnight, it can still be polyamorous. I'll let the others correct me if I'm wrong. Or maybe it's because I'm more like a relationship anarchist but to me we can all chose the type of relationship we want to have with different people. However...

If it's of any help, one way I look at compersion is to compare how I'd feel with friendships. For example, you were probably happy about your roommate having nice experiences, or at least it didn't make you feel insecure. Ideally it would feel the same with a lover. Easier said than done...

Are you familiar with the concept of compersion?

Welcome to the community. I would recommend that you both read a book like The Ethical Slut or Opening Up. It gives good examples of different configurations, talks about hierarchies, level of commitments and how to deal with different problems that might occur, among other things.

Hi, I'm sorry that you're going through this. You don't need to get used to it. You shouldn't have to deal with unfulfilled promises. It's a matter of setting boundaries and respecting them. In this case it sounds like she didn't respect the agreement. However one thing I would be careful about...

Hi Jacqueline, it doesn't sound much like a poly relationship to me. Hopefully you can find help here to navigate this situation.

From my experience those groups don't last long unfortunately and surprisingly. Even when I was in New York City, I couldn't find anything that was still active. The closest I found was cuddle parties organized by a tantra institute. Most of the organizers were poly but it wasn't the point of...

Thanks for pointing that out. I completely missed that :)