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Hey everyone. It's difficult to know a situation unless you're a part of it. A lot of people are saying this was a bad idea or that my wife's not doing her part or her bf is being inconsiderate. We should all move out and get our own places and live separately. I appreciate your suggestions but...

Hey, I'm hurting and a lot of this may just be my feelings spilling out but I need advice or to vent or something. [mod edit] First thread, for background: https://polyamory.com/threads/new-here-and-trying.157337/ My wife of many years and her boyfriend of 6 months are living in the same house...

Thank you! I did read this one and it helped tremendously! I did not realize how tangled up I was. 13 years of a codependent relationship cannot be detangled just by saying "we're open now!" 😆 So I'm doing the work and it is helping the triad situation become easier. I am working my way through...

Sorry, I was just feeling overwhelmed with stuff going on. Being an outside observer of NRE can be a painful and frustrating experience. I bet it feels great if you're in it, but maybe still a bit confusing. Idk 🤷🏼‍♂️

Am I right?! 😞

DingedHeart, you bring up a lot of good points. I think I've gone through a lot of what you mentioned without knowing what it was that I was feeling. Only now do I realize, after reading your descriptions, that I have been mourning a lot of things. We did some research, but not enough. We did...

Yeah, she recommended that I join the site but I don't know if we're not supposed to find each other on here. 🤷🏼‍♂️ We are definitely "visiting each other's island," but it is less frequent. We used to sit for hours at the end of the week to relax and vent and talk about plans and just exist...

Yes, the term "poly hell" would be applicable to my experience. Just some days where the intrusion and demotion were very acute and that pain was very overwhelming. I also came to the realization, through therapy and the book Polysecure, that I have an anxious-avoidant attachment style and that...

I met my metamour in 2023, in the last year of college. We became friends and I invited him over to hang out with my family. They all became fast friends and he visited every weekend for months. During that time, we all talked about how nice it would be to buy a house together and pool our...

Thanks. I will check out your suggestions. We didn't really plan this out and now we all live together. And yes, some days have felt like hell. But I'll do more research and learn what "poly hell" is. For the most part, we are making it work. Thanks again for the resources, and Merry Christmas!

Thanks for your kind words. I don't know if I have any specific questions, I'm kinda just trying to soak it all in. The idea of dating again is equal parts exciting and terrifying. My wife said she is 100% supportive if I want to date. I just have to figure out if that's what I want. It's...

Hi, I am new to poly and non-monogomy and I'm trying to adjust to be okay with everything. My wife of 13 years brought up the idea of polyamory this year because she's always felt love for multiple people, even after we got married. She's never done anything, but she's had several crushes that...