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I have previously thought I share traits common to inattentive ADHD, easily distracted, forgetful, difficulty staying organised. My wife often says that a conversation with me is like reading a mystery book because I can start a sentence, get halfway through and stop, because I’ve forgotten what...

I’m really glad to know that it is possible to start to build a sex life after a long time without. I don’t know if she orgasms on her own. I don’t know if she ever masturbates. My strong suspicion is that she does not, but I’ve never asked. Me giving her oral sex is pretty much the majority...

From what I remember I think there are examples of both, but probably most often it’s the sexual partner who is posting.

I’m also on an asexuality forum, and there are a fair few people, both men and women, who are making it work. Granted, that’s a very selective group and the ones for whom it didn’t work are probably not hanging around posting about it. It does however give me a little hope that it is not impossible.

You may be right, and if polyamory ended up being a route we went down, we would have to both acknowledge that may be where we ended up. But if compromise sex and celibacy are not options, then I’d rather go down a route where there’s a chance we can keep some, most or all of what we currently...

I’m always sorry when I hear that other people are going through the same trials as I/we are, but at the same time it’s a relief to know that I/we are not alone. Other people are in the same boat. It’s even better to hear the experiences of people who have already traveled the road we have...

I think you are right. What I need to understand is whether she actually wants to have a sex life, or if she would be much happier knowing it was off the table for good. To know that we need to have that conversation, in fact those conversations, but it all starts with the first one. Perhaps...

I'm fed up keeping writing "my wife," so I'm just going to make up a name for her. I'm going to call her Joy, because, despite everything, that's what she is to me and that's what she gives to me, in every way but one (and as we noted above, it's a big one). I had my session with a therapist...

Thanks Kevin. You’re right. I need to have a conversation with my wife. I just need to make sure I’ve thought everything through first. Step one of that was joining here. Step two is a session with a therapist on Saturday and hopefully soon I’ll have everything sufficiently clear and thought...

Thank you. I've certainly heard Basques being described as Celts, and the Welsh certainly are so that makes you pretty close to us Scots Celts.

Hi. I'm a 53 year old male (he/him) from Scotland, UK. I'm in a 31 year mono marriage and like the title says, I'm here trying to figure some stuff out, not least of which is whether some form of ENM might be right for me. If you want to know more about me I've started a blog/journal of my...

I'm new here. I'm at the very start of a journey and at this stage who knows where it is going to lead me. I've been exploring for a while and I landed here and I'm very glad I did because I have already been helped a great deal by a number of very helpful members, one of whom suggested I think...

I’m sure Magdlyn can speak for herself, but in the context of the thread she was talking about my wife’s vaginismus as opposed to asexuality.

That’s exactly what I’m doing, and all the questions people have asked here have really helped me sort through some stuff in my head and clarify what I do/don’t think. I have booked an individual session with a psychosexual therapist on Saturday morning, one who specialises in ENM, as well as...

Well now you've insulted me - I'm Scottish!:)

I haven't had the opportunity yet as it was relatively late last night (I'm in the UK) and I've been working today. But next time I have the opportunity, I will read them through. Thank you for providing this. I don't think this is related to trauma. Early in our marriage, she was referred to a...

Thank you. I just need to think about this more before I can get to a place where I agree that it is worth the risk. Talking here, and the really great advice, empathy and encouragement I'm getting from so many people is definitely helping with that process.

This 100% describes me. Thanks

I think, no sorry, I know, she would see a distinction between seeing someone and finding them attractive, and having sexual thoughts about them, whether that was someone you see on a screen, in the street, or your social/work circle, and giving actual consideration to having sex with them...

If you were already married or in a committed monogamous relationship when one partner first raised the idea of some form of ethical non-monogamy, I’ve got a couple of questions for you. If you were the one who raised it, before raising it, were you afraid that even voicing the idea would feel...