Search results

So why is it that fear of losing the people we love the most makes us treat them shittier than anyone else? What sense is there in that? And why does insecurity cause people to do crap that is the exact opposite of what would make sense. Bad day. Yesterday poly sounded like a great idea...

Well, I know some folks have had a strong reaction to your statements, but I think its great that you recognized these feelings and are trying to understand them even if you feel it's hard to admit to them. But my experience from counseling is that if you aren't interested in something or...

I do have to say that after working through a bunch of things in therapy, that its pretty clear that people don't really get to choose their kinks. A lot of people are pretty obsessed with things that are pretty embarrassing and that they wished they didn't. After having to accept some things...

It is a great read - thanks for sharing this.

Cool - thanks for the encouraging words. Just trying out the words and concepts and hoping the actual belief in them and ability to practice them follows...

Glad you guys had a good talk. A good talk can go a long way.

Doesn't sound ignorant at all. Good questions that we all struggle to figure out. Sounds like you are finding some things you need with your BF/FWB. But that doens't mean you have to give up the connections with your primary. Sounds like that is up to you... But I don't really know how this...

Have you tried suggesting seeing a poly-friendly counselor? Especially if your GF is cool with you moving slowly it might be a way for your wife to have time to learn a few skills in communication and learn ways to deal with insecurity. Good luck!

So I titled this post "trying to decide", but I realize that I've been approaching this pretty wrong. I've been thinking about it as a decision for my wife and I as to whether WE want to do poly vs. swinging. But really what I've been doing is trying to anticipate what my wife wants and figure...

I’m gonna preface this with the fact that I’m pretty clueless and just figuring out poly, so not giving any advice, cause I don’t think I’m qualified. But, I can share my experience and you can apply caveat emptor - you can decide if it's applicable to your situation or not. I’ve always been...

I'm definitely not one who should or can give advice on poly relationships, so take this message with that in mind... but just to reflect back a few questions based on what you have said: Do you think its possible that because you are afraid he might be so into his new girlfriend that he might...

Probably true. It is a bummer the wife isn't available/interested... Sure your not the sadist? I'm hanging tight for now to make the wife feel comfortable/secure until she decides whether to stick with swinging or do poly. If I start having an eye out, I'm pretty sure it will quickly be two...

Cool

Kevin - yeah - I resemble that remark. Like I say still trying to accept that aspect of myself and not see it as unmanly or weak. I do a pretty dom job and like being the boss in my working world... my wife says she sees me as pretty dom but I do like to kiss her ass and be her plaything...

KC43, Thanks for sharing your story. I do sorta understand cause some aspecs of being a Domme come naturally to my wife, some dont... she rocks my world with some things but if she tries to do things she isnt really into, it doesnt work at all... leaves me sometimes wanting some things...

Thanks Nadya - that is kinda helpful to hear. Yeah, I hear you and understand a bit about reasons why all the other stuff in real life can get in the way and make you more comfortable submitting to someone other than your husband. Logically at least I can understand it a bit. For my wife I...

So anyone else find that the thing you have the most insecurity about with your partner's partners is the power dynamics, more so than the sex or emotion? I guess this is just my own insecurity that I'm continuing to work on, but my wife has never been willing to sub to me and now seems...

Sorry KC. Sounds like you are hurtin a bit and sounds like you need a little more attention. Hope you tell your hubby and hope he listens...

Ok, interesting - there are very different perspectives on this... Really good discussion. So what I'm taking away so far is: Its not a *given* that entering into poly will have a dramatic change or a negative effect to our marriage. It *could* work out that if we are clear with each other...

By the way, it does sound like you are living the dream. Pretty cool for you. :)