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Just like to add another "sometimes divorce is better for the kids" comment. I wished my parents would get divorced for years. My mom is a hoarder and was physically and emotionally abusive. Two of my therapists met her and each independently came to the conclusion that she probably has...

given how being gay is no longer nearly-synonymous with pedophilia* (I remember a time when it was common/normal/acceptable in most circles for someone to keep the kids away from the gay relatives, for fear of molestation), I think we're getting there slowly but surely with poly. I have hope...

TG is Thanksgiving :) You're not awful to say that. I go back and forth. One of my closest friends was also the person I've dated the longest so far in my life. We had a really horrible break up. He actually told nearly all of our friends that I cheated on him, based on a chat he read with a...

That's interesting. I think it really depends on the relationship for me. I had one ex when I was mono that (a month or two after the break up) we ended up being FWB. The thing that made it work...I was a couple of years older than him (I think he was 20 & I was 23) and although our sexual...

Thank you both very much for your thoughts. It really helps. Honestly, I swear, I'm generally not thinking about her much. When I asked Jon about Lora, I think it had taken me a good few weeks to make the connection between "Jon is happier lately, huh" and "I haven't seen Lora's name on his...

Maybe the thing that got the people that I've talked to (which is probably more than 10 but less than 20?) is pointing out that you can have multiple kids and no one is going to accuse you of loving them all less because you have more of them. Regardless of the idea that kids grow apart as they...

Oh man, do I feel you on that. I have a similar situation going on in my life, with my partner and his ex. At the moment, they're not speaking at all (the first time they ceased all contact since the break up six months ago), because she wouldn't stop jumping all over his shit about everything...

Well, first off, I agree with everybody that being around X sounds unhealthy for you, and like X could be a toxic/abusive person. That said, part of my way of doing poly is that I'm open to having deep poly relationships with friends AND I'm ok doing all sorts of "couple-ish" things with people...

When I run into that, I generally shift the conversation to children. As in "Is having a second child proof that you're not committed to the first one? Is the first child 'not good enough'?" Then there will be protesting that "that's different", to which I point out that people generally either...

So here's my feelings: I forgot exactly how the conversation went, but basically, when Jon and I were talking about Lora and the fight that caused Jon to want a break, it occurred to me to ask if she ever asked about me/he mentioned me to her. The answer was no. Not once. OK, this is going to...

Wow has it been awhile! Hi guys! :) The treatments did work, to an extent. I am back in PT/trying to strengthen myself mode. I found a chronic pain/health conditions support group. And I found a book club that "meets" by message board/group chat instead of in person, which has been awesome for...

Haven't had a problem with it. I do shower between dates if there was any kind of sex or serious touching involved. It's only happened once or twice, though once memorably, I saw all three of the guys I was dating in one day. One of them had spent the night and we had morning sex/brunch...

I think that's a really great idea. I'm the same way. I would rather hold off on talking about something for a bit, and make sure that I have a handle on my feelings and exactly why something is bothering me. If I don't do that, sometimes I mess up (and get really frustrated and angry with...

I agree with PPs about how giving up a fundamental part of yourself (or at least trying) is probably only going to delay the inevitable - that you won't be able to be monogamous, you and your girlfriend will both end up hurt, angry, and with broken hearts AND by then, there may be children that...

I would be concerned and freaked out too. If I were in your shoes, I would remember the things that you've said, that Blue absolutely isn't in to monogamy, and that he will stay true to himself (as it sounds like he has for years), which means continuing to be poly and have a relationship with...

Another vote for telling him you need to cut off all contact and not mention you'll be in his area. Maybe you'll bump into him. Maybe you won't. If you do, I'd excuse myself from the situation. How long will you be in his area? What are the circumstances in which you think you'll run into him?

Thanks, me too. This pain thing really sucks the life out of me.

It seems like you are in a rural area - is that correct? I'm wondering if some of the things that love in people are also things that either trigger wanderlust in them or possibly that they feel "too big" for the place where you live, and so they move on to other places. I'm sort of looking...

So you said that she's talking about this guy to you. Might she be willing to not do that? Would that be enough? Or would just knowing that "it's happening" (even not within your earshot) be too much to handle right now?

Jon and I had a great long weekend in NYC for Halloween with Issi (my girlfriend) and their hubby Jared. It was really fun, but also hard. Hard because right before the trip, my health problems had a MASSIVE flare-up and I needed a series of injections that I've had before. Long story short, I'm...