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Looking forward to watching the Pride parade tomorrow with a bunch of my poly friends! I’ve been spending a lot of time in poly communities on Facebook lately. I think it’s partially to fill the echoing, hollow gap that was previously taken up with my communications with RacingSnail. *sigh* I...

Right now I live with my husband (MonkeyMan), our kid, a housemate, and a cat. There is a possibility that someday the housemate will be replaced by my boyfriend, but it’s not clear if that can happen yet. I’d consider a 3 adult household to be my most common living situation as an adult, though...

RacingSnail’s bad patch continues. This week we were both away from our respective homes on vacation, and we’ve been texting each other vacation photos. We spoke briefly on the phone last night (a little trickier than usual, as there are three hours between us instead of two). I miss him...

You know, that hasn’t quite been my experience. I mean, the biochemical insanity part of NRE passes off for me, never to return (sleeplessness, obsessive thoughts, inability to eat). But the spark, focus, and joy about the very existence of a beloved rekindles for me periodically. I refer to it...

Gentleman Jole and the Red Queen by Lois McMaster Bujold is a tale of two arms of a Vee picking up the pieces after their hinge has died. It’s a delightful grown-up love story set in her Vorkosigan space-opera universe.

Supporting a long distance partner through depression is hard. I mean, that probably goes without saying. But not being able to deliver any hugs... it sucks. RacingSnail’s variety of depression runs more toward getting apathetic and withdrawn than sad or suicidal, so that’s good. But much like...

My off-the-cuff answer is this: triads (where all three people are sexually involved with each other) can work, but I think are fairly rare. The other dynamic you’re open to, a family-style Vee (where two people share a partner in common but don’t have a sexual relationship of their own) is more...

RacingSnail went home yesterday, and I slept the sleep of the mortally exhausted last night. Still recovering even after that. It was a wonderful visit, and I’ll be awhile sorting out how I feel. Our next encounter is scheduled for October... and as you might imagine, that seven months looms...

Hey, Ravenscroft, I intend to write up a book review at some point in the next two weeks and post it on this thread. Would do it sooner, but my health (and the fact that my LDR is visiting for a week starting tomorrow) is standing in the way! In a nutshell, Patterson’s book highlights some of...

In case you haven’t heard, Kevin Patterson’s book on race and representation in polyamorous communities, “Love’s Not Color Blind” has just been released! I got my copy in the mail yesterday and am reading it now. Starting this thread as a place to share thoughts; if you’re reading it too, please...

It sounds to me like the biggest thing going on here isn’t about the structure of your relationship, so much as it is about you needing to process and heal more from the toxic mono relationship that you ended. I don’t know how open you are to the idea, but I would recommend finding a therapist...

10 days until RacingSnail visits. A lot of stuff going on in my wider polysphere at the moment. This Saturday I’m hosting one of my tea & discussion gatherings for the local Queer Poly Women & Nonbinary group I co-run. If my housemate Naturalist doesn’t attend, it’ll be my first time as...

I’ve gotten a lot out of my meditation practice over the years. I honestly feel like taking 5-20 minutes a day to do some silent meditation has rewired my brain to be calmer and less anxious. It took many months of consistent practice to get there, though. Mindfulness is one of the main ways I...

So... 17 days until RacingSnail visits. He and I have been having a big talk over email about commitment. :eek: :o It’s not clear whether or when he might move out here, but it looks like we really are in this for the long haul. The only one I’ve talked with about it is MonkeyMan. He said...

Welcome, Petitefemme! Sorry to hear you’re going through a tough situation in your current relationship. :(

I was hesitating to chime in, despite being the hinge in a V with two partners who are not dating anyone else because I did not open my marriage to poly. We were poly from day one, with members of our extended polycule standing up with us as part of the wedding party. My NP/husband, MonkeyMan...

As it gets closer to RacingSnail’s next visit, I find that everything in that relationship is slowly rising in intensity, like a numbed limb waking or the long-awaited coming of spring. Six more weeks until the end of this particular winter. But for now it’s all pins-and-needles in my awakening...

It’s a little outside the typical for these conversations, but I like to add a social/emotional piece. What does having sex mean to you? How do you see this affecting our relationship (if it does)? Is there anything you want or need as aftercare for this type of experience? Best wishes for a...

Hello and welcome, Siobhan! It’s lovely to meet you. I, too, started my marriage while poly. :) :waves from western Massachusetts:

Hey there caffeeLover29! One of my relationships is long distance (2,000 miles, MA to UT) and is just starting on its second year. I’m curious to know what you and your long-distance love do now, in terms of keeping in contact. How often do you call, visit, text, email each other? Do you ever...