Search results

Good luck, Emjay! It sounds like you're planning to take things slow and give your husband a lot of time to process this new possibility--that's a very good idea.

I hear that!! Currently I am in a relationship with two men (one long distance) but that wasn't what I was looking for.... so not sure I have much help to offer, Roxxanne!

Al - Octavia Butler's Dawn is quite good, and I also very much enjoyed Diane Duane's 'Door Into...' series (the first one is Door Into Fire) and Starhawk's book The Fifth Sacred Thing, both of which have strong poly elements.

Congratulations!! It sounds like that conversation went really well--I'm so happy for you! Getting things out in the open can feel like such a relief sometimes.:)

Sounds interesting! Have added this to my library requests... happy to give you my take in three weeks or so!

No reason why you *should* feel that way, powerpuffgrl--no value judgements are implied here. I'm just exploring what it is that makes relationships work for me, and was curious whether anyone else had similar preferences to mine. Much like there ain't no One True Way to do poly, everyone's...

That's interesting... intensity isn't the first word I would choose. To me, it seems more like mindfulness/engagement. It definitely takes focus and awareness to maintain. Yes, that sounds right. My newer partner is in that learning phase right now, I believe. I'm not currently looking for a...

Hi Marcus, of course! In this particular case, I'm talking about romantic/sexual relationships, yes. I think it's the pairing of romance and diving deep into this kind of emotional analysis that appeals to me, though, the sexual aspect is optional. My previous experience of a non-exploratory...

I realized today (in the shower, where I do a lot of my best thinking) that one of my needs in relationship is to be able to consciously co-create my relationship with a partner. I need to be able to engage with someone on that level, using tools like check-ins and 'state of the relationship'...

Core Values Working my way through Ecstasy is Necessary by Barbara Carrellas, which I picked up at a used bookstore in Ithaca while on my second honeymoon with MonkeyMan. I was doing an exercise on identifying my core values, which I found really interesting. Mine seem to be (in order of...

On Conflict Still processing my recent conflict with RacingSnail, and I was just listening to an episode of Polyamory Weekly, and LustyGuy had some things to say about conflict and vulnerability that I think really speak to my recent experiences. He said: ‘When that conflict comes up the first...

Welcome, Maddy! I hope you can find some support from the great crowd of like-minded folks here. :)

Trust Thinking about trust today, after a long text conversation with RacingSnail this morning. It has become clear over the past few weeks that I don't trust him as much as he would like (or, actually, as much as I want to). I suspect it comes somewhat from the one-and-only time he let me...

Seriouser and Seriouser I took the initiative to have a serious conversation with MonkeyMan the other night about our relationship in the context of my wider poly sphere. We've gone through some different phases together, from the days when it seemed like Jester and I would be together forever...

Whirlwinds Well, RacingSnail is doing better, I'm happy to say. We had our first fight, and resolved it, and honestly it was no fun but very productive, and I'm not sorry it happened. Actually, I feel closer to him than ever... which I didn't know was humanly possible. If only the physical...

To me, love isn't the part that keeps you up at night or gives you a lovesick stomach ache or makes your heart pound with nervous tension. That's the NRE. Love doesn't wear off. Growing familiarity doesn't diminish it, though inattention can. It's a harmonious connection, a balance of...

A More Difficult Distance Well, crap. I guess I had been waiting for this shoe to drop since day one on some level, but I wasn't in any hurry. RacingSnail is tangling with his old foe, depression. *Now* I'm feeling the distance between us miserably and keenly. God, this sucks. I just want to...

Indeed, and though RacingSnail is two time zones across the country from me, and we can only see each other twice a year or so, I can see that I'm luckily better suited to a long-term LDR than some folks who have commented here. Missing a more routine physical connection is hard, but not...

Aw, rosephase, that gives me the warm fuzzies! Thanks so much for sharing your experiences!

Thanks for your reply, lunabunny! By first incarnation, do you mean that first eight months, when your NRE was more matching?