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Mmm, I understand that. If I may expand on my thoughts somewhat, you have mentioned many times that you have made it essential to your own well-being in the relationship, that PN's (who came before you) and RP's relationship does not suffer (whether because of you or not; you will facilitate...

Just want to quickly diverge somewhat off topic here. I have had a theory bubbling away since last night. Still in its infancy, but here goes... Some time back we all posted on the love languages thread. Mine is physical touch. WW's is physical touch. My own need for physical touch is higher...

This rang a bell in my mind. (That hasn't happened much lately. Thanks, Mono.) Would it be fair, as parents, to take responsibility for assuring (and reassuring) our children that there IS enough to go around? And then when there isn't (i.e., time/resources) that that is okay, and not something...

Yes, I would be all right with it. It would bring up some issues of my own that we would work through, but it would be okay. In my marriage, I was cheated on by my ex. I offered to open the marriage for him. He declined, as he preferred to be deceitful, among other things, which included...

Hi, dingedheart. I apologize for the delayed response. It's been a little busy over here with floods and cyclones. I am under a LOT of stress, and suffer from speech/language dysphasia. I mention this as the sheer amount of stress I am under right now is causing the dysphasia to display even in...

Correct me if I am wrong RP - but I think you meant that both of you need to grow and learn... just as Mono needs to find a way to allow you to be yourself in complete freedom, and trust that you will not behave in ways to damage yourself or your relationship with him... RP also needs to grow...

Thank you for the link - it is very descriptive - I do have some thoughts, but will address them later as it is very late here and I want to be in a less stressed frame of mind when I do pose questions... hugs to you both as always :D

Hi :D

Absolutely :D For me (interposing myself and my personality in place of RP here) it would mean while I gained something I was deeply wanting/yearning... I would lose something I valued just as deeply... I understand the 'constriction' that RP must be feeling (I haven't read each and every post...

Aside from the extremely direct way Magdlyn posed the questions... I feel the questions are valid... and not just to yourself Mono... these questions pertain to my situation and to many on this forum... obviously you cannot answer for all mono partners, but your response to those questions...

Hi Sage - yes my trip has been delayed until the end of next month... we came through Cyclone Yasi largely unscathed, although my emotional state is .... unquantifiable. I'm in a state of flux at the moment... hard to tell how much of my feelings have been impacted by the very recent brush with...

LOL - the weather usually is :D We are way way way overdue for some serious damage though... didn't expect the whole state to get it all in the first two months of the year though :P

Hi - haven't made it to Brissy yet - my trip was cancelled... I am actually in the path of Cyclone Yasi right now so you likely won't be hearing too much from me for a while :D

Hi Sage - oh gods am I ever... this thing is HUGE!! Gonna take hours to cross the coast and I am maybe 200m from the beach... Have the kids with me which is good and bad... good cos I know they're safe... bad cos I have to keep them that way... this is an absolute monster of a storm... it's...

:D Thanks

I'm a bit torn myself... I find it exciting and so amazing and wonderful when I feel that puzzle piece slide in and click... the joy from it, the knowing I am a little more whole is sheer pleasure... but some of those puzzle pieces (like the one that brought me here) have hurt the ones I...

So T and I spoke... The result is not what i have wished for and T is exiting our lives. somewhat. T (in a backhanded way) admitted he had fallen in love with me, but that what I wanted was, simply, not right. After some more discussion he said it wouldn't be right in WW's world but more...

Thanks Bella - I took the hard path for 15 years... at the time I left I thought myself a failure (even though I had the righteous indignation happening...and the how fucking dare you do this to me attitude) emotional abuse is the worst - it saps you of your strength and any notion that you...

I don't know if this will help any.. but my own experience with this ended when I was finally pushed over my limit... I had for years said that if he hit me again, I would be gone.... but I never left... until I had reached my limit - my limit was reached by refinding myself through new...

perhaps if you could bullet point/list the things you worry about/fear... then attack them with what you know deep down is the truth about them... i.e. he may want more time.... attack: you have an agreement that is unbreakable unless negotiated... attack: red will honor your needs as well as...