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Hi Lisa, The general gist of a lot of your posts seem to circle around the confusion you have over what your girlfriend feels for the two of you. I hear you've asked her point blank whether she's losing interest in you guys and she reassures you that that's not the case - reassuring you that...

Thanks Del, that was very enlightening. I hear you say that affairs happen in a culture that says "people will be people" and you can't stop people from having affairs. I also feel that the culture you describe would have quite a few dont' ask don't tell (DADT) agreements, but I hear you say...

It's not quite what you're asking, but this thread shows a bunch of previously monogamous couples, where one person wants polyamory. They give it a shot.

I don't know about being a woman, but I also feel that the more i read the less I know. However, I find this forum authentic. Real problems are discussed Here, not just problems you see in books and articles from smart people who write well, not just struggles or world views from one person -...

You're in a difficult situation, lunabunny, with too many pieces being juggled, by which I mean there are many yellow flags of instability. Doesn't mean it can't be done, but it's going to be tough. To my mind, the following are all examples of things that can be unstable. In your V/Triad, B...

Hi Dimensionless, I don't have anything further to add on top of what GalaGirl and FallenAngelina have said. I agree that finding in yourself some hobbies you are interested in, is a good way to improve your sense of self, and also your self confidence. Best wishes, Shaya.

I was confused about couples privilege and hierarchy and explored that recently here. Relationship anarchy can be googled. I like this resource, which I think you've already read but will include it here incase someone new stumbles along your thread in the future.

Agree with all your points Spork. And I don't think underage sex with a much older adult will be legal anytime soon. It is possible to argue that an older, wiser individual could help guide a younger underage person and teach them about sex and relationships, but the potential for abuse, the...

Hi Del, A warm welcome to the forums. I'm relatively new myself. When I first joined and started learning about polyamory, I wanted to know more about how the French public would perceive polyamory. I don't know any French people so I started a thread here about the French. To my knowledge...

What an interesting topic! Thanks Orlandobif. When I first started reading about poly, my eyes opened to a whole realm of intimacy that lay on the grey between friends and lover. My take on your question, is that there is a spectrum or horizontal line between friends and lovers that poly allows...

Spot on, Karen. Thanks.

Hi MsChristy, I'm relatively new to the forums myself, so I'm not sure if there's anything I've thought about that you wouldn't have already. My life experiences would pale next to yours, but I think experienced poly people like yourself use the board more as a sounding board to get to where...

From my position of relative inexperience, I see the last dozen posts as a back and forth between 2 world views. From what I can tell, Schrodinger, you practice hierarchical poly. People you start a relationship with are clear that you and your husband have a hierarchy and they're okay with...

Hi Dimensionless, I admire the way you take feedback. Most I think would have found it difficult. Opalescent is right with the codependency thing. That's a difficult one to tackle and I see it as the main issue. It ties in with self love and self esteem. My wife and I have taken steps to try...

Welcome Cassius, to the forums. There are many different types of open relationships. For a laugh, have a look at this humorous venn diagram. For a more serious discussion, you may want to look over here. I mention this because you mention open relationships in your opening post rather than...

I see, There is currently reciprocated sexuality between B and J. You feel B would be keen for something sexual to develop but J doesn't necessarily want this, though he isn't totally against it. Given they live relatively near each other, they have more opportunities to catch up in person. In...

Not sure if this touches on what you're looking for BathedinSalt. It's an article on the spectrum of control being the defining difference between monogamy and relationship anarchy with most of the other common relationship styles plotted on a spectrum of control between these two extremes. I...

I think having all people always connected equally the way you describe may happen for a while, especially with the benefit of NRE, but I suspect what eventually happens is that a little bit of un-evenness in the loves, chores or responsibilities, or maybe just changing personalities over time...

I am in agreement you you, powerpffgrl. I think we're all giving the same advice to Dimensionless, just in different ways. Best of luck, Dimensionless. Things will probably get worse before they get better. But they will get better. Hang in there, Shaya. P.S: Galagirl called both of our...

In my opinion, they're just words or labels. I'd be more interested in why your boyfriend finds it offensive. Does he feel it cheapens the relationship? If that is the case, then you can reassure him in words and actions that it doesn't, but make it clear that you have priorities towards your...