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Just another voice that feels similarly about the phone thing. I always try to extract myself from what I'm doing when I'm on the phone with Chops, even if it's a "hey, how are you?" conversation (because there's still an exchange of gooshy stuff from time to time). When Chops is with me, he's...

My partner and I have been together for almost 8 years (hm... guess it's time to update the .sig), and his other nesting relationship started around the same time. I had similar issues with this meta (Xena in my blog, if you want to go back that far). Things that I took away from that...

I haven't updated in QUITE a while, but here's as good a time/place as any. :) I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm poly. I went out on a handful of dates with someone who didn't really like the relationship structure, so we're back to being friends. As for me, I have (again) no interest in...

Re. Jersey Guy, if you haven't already, please read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker (and learn to trust your gut). If I missed it in a followup post, I apologize, but when it comes to the group message, it may be worth asking consent questions within the context of the group message - "Was...

Arizona Coyotes are the former Winnepeg Jets. :) Source: Am from NH. Like hockey. Very little diversity here as a whole outside of the more urban areas, of which there are few. And no, I can't speak to Poly diversity, since I don't really involve myself in any poly communities other than this...

Except when they don't. Or, in my case, except when the dynamic between the two of you changes over 17 years of marriage. Then, the habits you learn when subsuming yourself to the relationship just end up hurting you when you find it almost impossible to advocate for yourself when you need to...

Indeed. It took me six years in my relationship with Chops to stumble upon a situation in which I thought maybe I could actually give this "dating" thing a try... and I am both amazed and annoyed with how little I understood both Chops and myself. I wasn't going to grok it until I was in the...

Thanks, all! :) Date #3 is tonight, and given some of the questions he's asked (and wanted me to wait until we were face-to-face to answer), I think it's going to be another deep-dive conversation. Fingers are crossed that it goes well, even though I really don't have any expectations about...

Thanks, Kevin. :) Maybe? We'll see... Could be a good thing, could end up a major mess. Clearly, I'm hoping it doesn't end up a mess, but at least I'll know a little bit more about myself (and won't wonder about the "what-ifs") in the long run. Next date is tomorrow, so I'll be updating the...

Glad to see things are going well with everything, BB! And Macross AND SAO? Squeeeeee! (The kids have gotten me sucked into SAO... I don't know if I can show them Macross without the sheer '80s-ness of it making their eyes bleed :D )

Hugs, GFT... I'm sorry to hear about your pup (but hope she has many more good days with you guys) and about all the stress. I'm glad to hear that you and Castle are doing well, and just hope for the best with all the upcoming changes.

Oh! OH! And something I forgot to add to the end of the previous blog: DanceGirl now has her licence. And a car. And a job. Good LORD, what a friggin' abrupt change. Like there isn't already enough going on. :rolleyes: I didn't realize I'd get hit with the "feeling unnecessary" feeling...

YouAreHere is... where? (Or, "This Road Map Still Sucks...") - Blog, Part II Intro post, which is just the outro post from my last blog thread. Methinks there are enough changes in my life right now to warrant a new thread/chapter.

Identity Crisis... Who/Where is YouAreHere?! Well... a lot has happened in a few months. YAH ended up having herself a full-blown identity crisis for a while! But I'll get to that... What the heck did I talk about last time? YouAreHere has most definitely NOT been "here." Oh, yeah... The...

Hey KC! Congrats on the apartment, car, job, AND the new guy! Clearly, I have to log in a bit more often. :o Best of luck!

I've GOT to get back on the board more often... Glad things are going well, Mags (well, for everyone except the poor overcooked lasagna, that is)! Looking forward to hearing more about Kahlo (and maybe if you don't have it, we can bring Bears vs. Babies over for ya to play)! :)

While I agree wholeheartedly with BlueBird's advice that your partner has had MUCH less time to process all of this, I'll give a word of caution on "More Than Two"... Many monogamous folks find Franklin Veaux's writing to be condescending and feel as though the book comes out very "anti-mono"...

How often do you hear about Military discharges (for example) in general, for other violations? From what I've heard from folks in the military, reaction depends on the command, so poly relationships are kept very much hush-hush unless there's reason to trust people with that information. Then...

Hey, that's me! Heh... :p 6 years together, me mono, him ("Chops") poly with one other "nesting partner" ("Xena") and one who's approaching that stage, we think ("Curls"). Other folks in his life as well, but not at that "escalator" level. Neither myself, Chops, Xena, nor Curls are married...

Boy, I try to get back into keeping up with the board, and I stumble upon this thread... Zoinks. It may benefit you to look up Franklin Veaux's (I think it's his) discussion of "Grapes and Cucumbers". My (very poor) synopsis: the cucumbers are the normal day-to-day activities, and the grapes...