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  1. I

    Lack of attention

    Leetah, that was actually the first and only time that has happened.
  2. I

    Lack of attention

    I definitely have a lot of stuff to answer. I will start at the top and work my way down. Tinwen, I am retiring from the military, but I will start a second career. Unless I get a great disability rating, my Army pension won't be enough for my family to live off of. So yes, I plan on working...
  3. I

    Lack of attention

    No. I will officially retire from the army on July 1st, but I actually stop working next week! No more deployments! I think that is one reason. A couple of weeks ago, on one of the rare occasions that she has opened up to me, she told me that it feels like I've never come home, like I have been...
  4. I

    Lack of attention

    I absolutely hate it! I do not like living this way or feeling this way. But let me give you a little background. I am in the Army and have been for 20 years. In 2006, after 7 years of marriage, after nearly four years of working in a job that allowed me to sleep in my own bed every night, and...
  5. I

    Lack of attention

    Kevin, I am actually a pretty self-negating guy, so I would say what matters most is her and the kids. LOL. Since last Monday, when we had a big fight because I got stupid, insecure and drunk, I have started paying a lot closer attention to her to try to figure out her cues. I thought I was...
  6. I

    Lack of attention

    Yeah, I think that is exactly what I have been doing. "Stop that because I don't like it. But I'm not going to offer any alternatives." That sounds sorta like something I'd say! LOL. And honestly, when I have asked her to do things with me, I don't even mind if she engages in her chats. I guess...
  7. I

    Lack of attention

    AJM, That's what scares me.
  8. I

    Lack of attention

    @ Galagirl, She gets very defensive. She has expressed that she feels that I am attacking her and her choices. I just want the opportunity to love her and I'd like to feel loved in return.
  9. I

    Lack of attention

    Specifically, I would like her to limit the amount of time she spends chatting online with her various paramours. I'm not so concerned with time she spends on face-to-face relationships. I was very disrespectful to her for a couple of months, but I got some help and advice and I am once again...
  10. I

    Lack of attention

    In a previous thread (To be or not to be; http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=78266) I have gone into great detail about the struggles I have had with my wife and our open relationship. To quickly rehash, my wife and I have had an open relationship for a few years. After coming off...
  11. I

    To be or not to be.

    A chance Well, after a very bad week, we may have a ray of hope. I think I am being given a chance to prove myself. This has been one hell of a week for my wife. After a disastrous post hook-up Monday night, things got much better for her. On Tuesday she was offered a great job that will pay...
  12. I

    To be or not to be.

    Therapy So last night, my wife went to visit a "friend." I was in a good place and riding a high because of the wonderful weekend we had had. I knew what she was going to do but was surprisingly not bothered by it. But I caught myself in a mind trap. I wanted to ask why she needed to go to him...
  13. I

    To be or not to be.

    When we first began our journey, one of my rules was that I don't want to know and I don't want to meet or talk to my metas. That all changed when I was contacted by him and his wife. It made things real and it allowed me to learn that we are all in this thing together whether we are friends or...
  14. I

    Asking For Trouble

    To an extent I agree as I struggle with being territorial. The difference is that modern humans have the capacity to reason. If a territorial male understands that this lifestyle is truly what his partner wants, he will use his ability to reason as well as open and honest communication to make...
  15. I

    To be or not to be.

    The Dinner I'm not good at romance. That means that throughout the years, Valentine's Day has become a day more about argument than the Hallmark intended show of romantic love. In fact, I've hated Valentine's Day since the 8th grade when my crush gave the rose that I had given her to the guy...
  16. I

    To be or not to be.

    Tinwen, My most heartfelt congratulations on finishing school!!!! I recently completed my degree after nearly 12 years of starting and stopping. I know how you must feel. Take pride in your accomplishment and know the satisfaction of a job well done! I feel that, going forward this week, my...
  17. I

    To be or not to be.

    Ravenscroft, Thanks for your input and perspective. Once upon a time a wise old boss of mine said something to me that has really become one of my core beliefs. There are three sides to every story; your side, there side, and what's really going on. I have tried to remain as objective as...
  18. I

    To be or not to be.

    Right now, I think that we are in a kind of funk. We've been there before. Every time we get through it and pit it behind us, I kind of wonder how we survived it. Everything can't always be roses and buttercups. I need to stop expecting it to be. One of the greatest things I've learned this week...
  19. I

    To be or not to be.

    I'm not sure I am feeling better. What I would say is I'm not sure what feeling better means. I feel different. I feel like, with some help, I am gaining some power over myself. But I'm not sure that means better.
  20. I

    To be or not to be.

    Changing thoughts Tinwen and Spork, You guys are great! Tinwen, I actually don't feel that Spork is being harsh on me. First, she's telling me things I need to hear. Second, there are a lot of PMs that she has also sent that go WAY more in depth. Your advice is equally well received and you...
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