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Hi and welcome to the forum 👍😆 Not sure about advice but you’ll certainly get my opinion ….for what it’s worth. I think you have a great advantage over most mono couples coming here with similar mileage. So I’d view that as a double plus. So essentially dropping any hierarchy or couples...

I think you missed the subtle point Gala was trying to make in that sex for both of them has been reduced to the function of getting off. And for her whether it’s totally physical or not it’s become a lot of work or effort to achieve “ the goal “ instead of say enjoying / pleasuring each...

Yeah, this hit me, if roles were reversed. And where are the my “body my choice“ people???? All this stuff needs to be addressed in couples counseling.

Very fair point. I apologize. It seems like you are here now playing catch up on that front. Is your wife as well, or is she off in la la land? So this started out with the specific intention of being a hotwife situation…ish? Heal from what? Good luck. 👍

Not sure you’re going to like my perspective. Besides talk, how much education did you do collectively or individually? That’s not a boundary. It’s a creepy rule. You might want to look up the difference between the two. See creepy rule as to why he’s a kind of a jerk. OMG strike 2. How can...

IMO you are all living/participating in a poly relationship, minus the last 15-20%, which is the physical/sexual side of things. I can’t see how or why, with open and honest communication, you can’t push past, individually or collectively, the last barrier.

Because this is the first official poly experience AND THIS IS occurring on the front end of his/their relationship I'd suggest NRE is playing a heavy role and it’s not surprising it hadn’t really occurred to him. In fact, I’d also suggest with longer-standing married couples transitioning, the...

First I’d like to thank you for such a comprehensive answer to my questions…it really fills in the blanks for everyone.👍😉 Did you did you do couples therapy to heal from the affair? How much time and healing had occurred before he started pitching poly? In most cases affairs seriously muck up...

Was that regarded as an affair at the time, or today for that matter, or more of a miscommunication? So the therapy was specifically designed to open or to have an open marriage? Some people get through some medical issues and decide life getting a little too short. Glad you’re doing better...

The title question is when does this conversation typically occur? What we see here is either a love connection made that spark ignite that drives the push to change the dynamic, or there’s a situation of needs not being met and a desire to expand options. And yes, timing will effect the...

How hard was that for you and your daughter? Did you feel caught up or trapped in another layer of something out of your control and NOT of your making? To me, this would seem to be INCREDIBLY awkward for everyone involved. Are she and her dates coming in during normal wakefulness hrs, or are...

Hi Greenapple And welcome to the forum How much study and research did you do prior to opening your marriage ? And how, why, or what after 18 yrs caused you to make this transition ? You’re not dating anybody because of a mono “ principle “ / mindset need or because added drama and...

Yeah, in some cases it’s actually bluntly stated that way, followed up with no “one“ is going to be enough. 100% … start from scratch. 😆🙌👍

How long were she and her husband open or poly prior to you meeting and then officially hooking up? It sounds like the reason they were open was he is on the asexual side things. How often were you meeting in person? What’s regularly? Once or twice a week? Once a month? Did you have...

How long did the previous attempt last? What was the education process going into that? What were the kinds of work you did over the last few yrs that now makes you ready to try again? Have the medical challenges played a role in life being too short?

Hey MTH. Welcome to the forum. Just for the record, people cheat inside poly or open relationships all the time. So just because someone’s waving the flag doesn’t mean they’re not breaching trust and violating share agreements. How long was she actually gone? Sounds like 2-3 weeks? And...

Or NOT and it’s selective outrage. Just out of curiosity who removed my post yesterday ? And why ?

Hey chilichief, welcome back. I vaguely remember you getting poly-bombed and having a rough start with when you wife started dating. Did you close back up after a period of time, or is it now you’ve decided to also start dating? How are things in your marriage?

Funny, I posted a quote from an old thread where the slapping of said label was quite aggressive and unsolicited. It seems to have been removed because it’s embarrassing to both Tinwen and Mags, either because standards have now changed, or those are completely subjective depending on their...

What peer reviewed study or studies claim this is rare ? And what difference does it make on how rare it is ? How about who care how or why people make those choices. And dinged isn’t assuming just throwing out ideas as to quell his anxiety. Why not lean into it rather than deny and turn...