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This is my fear as well. Because in my case I'm the one who needed poly and my husband does not. Part of me honestly doesn't really care if they judge me, but I also feel like people will say "how can you let your wife do that?" "She's treating you badly" "She's using you" etc. Judging...

So a couple things: Everything in life is a choice. But in the end, we do have to make the choices that result in positive growth, happiness and direction first for ourselves. While that might seem selfish to say, my needs come first, I'm a believer that if your needs aren't met, you can't...

Welcome to the forums! I feel you on the wanting to be more open. I would love to just be able to speak openly about the fact that I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend, what they mean to me, and how close we are. They are just as important to me as all the other aspects of my life and I hate...

Gala girl said it all perfectly. All the things I was feeling as I read your story. It's very hard to let go of someone you love and have feelings for. It's very hard not to keep hoping, keep clinging to the few good moments, but if you don't see any true real effort then it isn't going to...

+10000 this! I'm also reading the book. Congratulations on your success! I'm glad you are both happy.

Ranting is really helpful. I can comment a bit on the pushing her away statement. When my husband comes off as insecure/clingy, when I feel like I have to walk on eggshells when I talk about things, I do move away because it's exhausting. And I've found that after it finally gets to a...

Congratulations on your quad! That's very exciting. When it comes to the baggage, the only way to deal with it is to talk about it. Do you all trust each other? Do you communicate well? Do you spend time going over topics that are heavy? My trio is reading a book called "more than two"...

Welcome Sheainla! My first question is pretty basic: What do you want? I understand that we often aren't really sure. Or that we're scared of change or speaking up. We're scared that if we say what we want or need, the other person might get angry or leave the relationship and we'll be...

I'm glad you're feeling better as well! Emotions are ok! It's ok to feel them! Just make sure you do so in a healthy way!

I think there is that whole initial response of 'why aren't I enough?'. 'What am I doing wrong?' 'How didn't I meet her needs' that is the monogamous mindset when one person is supposed to do all those things. And then, if you have that mindset, is the new partner going to provide that and...

I'm glad to hear things are moving along well for you! Ups and downs are normal in any relationship, mono or poly, for many reasons. Handling them is what matters!

Welcome David! I'm also new here! I am married poly, which I would say is poly/mono right now, although I don't think my husband is opposed to another relationship.. I just don't think he really needs it. I think he's monogamous by nature anyway. Glad to have you here!

Hello Al! I'm on the opposite of you. I was the one who dropped the poly-bomb on my husband nearly two year ago. My guess is that my husband went through (and may still be in some ways) going through what you went through, while I can probably relate really well to what your wife has felt. I...

This is c/ped actually from another site I blog on. I'll move stuff over here and there as I can. Writing about being poly has been really helpful for me as well. (As a note, if you recognize it and want to say that, please PM me rather than asking here about my identity <3)...

I don't think you should be angry at yourself for having an attraction/interest in someone. That's part of life. It didn't work out and it hurts but that's ok. We've all been through that, but anger at yourself won't help you heal. Think about the positives of the experience and if you...

1. Do you want an open relationship? 2. Is your relationship stable and happy? Yes. I want to be able to explore a relationship with someone in the direction it would naturally go, whether that's friendship, acquaintances or romantic. Equally, I wouldn't mind the same of my husband. As for...

Thank you! My trio is reading "More than Two" together and discussing it (we intended a chapter a week but with life/holidays/etc it doesn't happen that fast), but it's definitely a fantastic book and matches how I feel about poly as well. Very good for learning. I do have one on another...

Hello all! I joined because I am a person who does better when I have a place to talk about my feelings and sort through things, making friends and relating to others who share similar views and experiences. I am 37, polyamorous and bisexual (or probably pansexual honestly). I've been with my...