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I'm not too sure what to tell you. This is a polyamory board, not a swinging or casual group sex board. It sounds like the agreement was, "Wife agrees not to share sex with other people without running it by me first." Is that it? Did she get carried away, like a one-time thing? Does this...

I'm glad you took it in the spirit intended, and you seem willing to own your parts in this. My point was you can leave because you have adult abilities kids do not have. Small kids don't know how to drive or take a bus to get themselves out. Kids that small may not even know how to walk...

I struggle with L, so I'm gonna call him "Leo," ok? Sigh. I mean this kindly, ok? Get your head back into your parenting job. I get that you and your wife are newbies. You will make newbie mistakes. That doesn't make you bad people. But your behaviors impact others -- including your kids...

Wife is 39 and dating 20-year old L.? I'm surprised the age wasn't in your original post. And you originally wanted to be involved in group sex with her and him in some fashion? A 20-year old is barely into young adulthood. Age gaps like that can be problematic on their own even without your...

Wow. What a shock. :( I'm sorry this happened this way. :( That's messed up. Even if it's true that he wasn't attracted to you for 6 years, the bottom line is that he is breaking up with you, right? So he could have done it kinder, like, "I'm sorry. This isn't working for me. I want to...

Some poly people are fine with labels and clear expectations. Sounds like you are one of those people. Some people (poly or otherwise) don't like labels. Sounds like he is one of those people. So if this is not compatible because of that? It's not about you. Just different styles. Well...

It's 10 PM and she has work the next day. Presumably she's coming home to sleep, right? Why is that great timing for a talk? You and she agreed to talk already? You both are coming to this prepared? It's not the deep talk, it's just a short 5 min "Let's set an appointment time to talk" to sort...

Yes. She could. But OP isn't stating what wife is/is not willing to do. She seems to come to sex with a "transactional" mindset. Like if she gets hers first, then she will reciprocate. That might not be a turn-on for OP. Is it habit? Or trying to stay hard for her? Then later it became...

I'm sorry. :( That's where you get to say, "No, thanks. I don't want to be in an open relationship." That's where you get to say, "Ok. If we have become incompatible over time, I prefer to divorce as peacefully as possible. Are you willing to talk to a counselor about how to disband, so we...

Your heart doesn't sound into this. And you've only been dating 7 mos. Seems kinder to both of you to end things peacefully. You could decide whether you want to be “plain exes,” who don’t really hang out but wave or nod if you run into each other at the grocery store, or take some time to...

It might be worth talking to a counselor and/or lawyer to draw up an agreement for being "separated under one roof." GG

I'm no doctor, but that's getting into DARVO, to me, like she's flipping it around on you and accusing you of the things she does. Think about it. If you are really so horrible and manipulative, why's she staying with you, rather than walking away, so she doesn't have to deal with "horrible"...

I'm sorry to hear this. But I think a divorce is best in your situation. You can't keep sticking around tolerating poor behaviors and name calling. Like when she doesn't get what she wants, she calls you names. She acts like you having normal and natural hurt feelings is a problem for her...

I don't know if this helps you any. Take what helps and ignore what does not. It sounds like you both talked about an open marriage that was open to casual group sex. Neither of you of you really thought about it being open to other things, like casual sex in pairs only, or even polyamory. To...

Sorry — voice-to-text typo. "Easies" was supposed to be "eases." What I meant is that I sympathize. Even though OP is past the newborn/baby stage — so probably no longer dealing with postpartum recovery (if it was a biological birth), nursing, or formula — they’re still parenting a young child...

I sympathize. While your kid is of the baby stage and that easies some things, kid is still in elementary school + special needs. You just aren't going to get those kinds of dates with husband for a while yet unless you mange to find a baby sitter who meets these extra care needs. It can be...

It sounds like the divorce happened around July 2024 after she came back from that trip, and she’s still in a relationship with the person she had the affair with. For me that raises an important question. Is she actively engaged and consistent in her parenting? Treating the kids well? Or...

I'm not sure what your actual agreements were. But none of this is kind, loving, or respectful behavior. I can totally see why you'd divorce. That's pretty weird. I can see trying to be decent coparents for the sake of the kids, but you two are not friends. There hasn't been any apologies...

2025 HOLIDAYS We had a lot of health/hospital related things over fall term with some that are still going on. So another curated holiday to pace ourselves. There's been more deaths among my friends. It's the time of life. More of the parents are starting to go. EarthMama called to tell me...

I don't know how honest you want. I'll assume super honest. It’s possible it was just an oversight, but it’s also possible she wants some boundaries and just hadn't gotten to blocking on all the things. This break up JUST happened to her too. Right now you are vulnerable because it was your...