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No, completely understandable.

I'm with Mightymax on this one. Do you really have any idea what life is like for a women or children in Pakistan. Sure the US or Europe may have issues, but I feel your view of life in a Muslim theocracy is a best rose tinted and at worst deluded. Be very careful.

There were definitely times in my relationship that I wanted 1, but for a whole host of reasons 2 happened. Now with hindsight this was undoubtedly the best thing. Not saying its for everyone but sometime its best to confront your biggest challenges rather than drip feed fear and uncertainty.

My experience is that women can be unbelievably amazing in this respect as pointed out by the last couple of posts. With hindsight I would say that the worry about too little sex in a V or similar relationship is an unnecessary worry, IF everything else in the relationship is going well. I...

I'm a bit ambivalent about this subject. On balance, early on in the relationship for me it was better to know what they were doing than not know as I found my imagination created worse images than then reality. But that may be different for you.

Me neither. When our V became a permanent thing I was concerned that Wolf would "steal" my sex time and because Angel was having sex with Wolf there would be less for me. That didn't happen. Just like he didn't steal any of Angel's love for me.

I agree Reflections, Angel and I do the same, there is a respectful balance.

Fair point.

I am. We have transitioned from a mono-mono realtionship to our current mono-poly. And would say that from my experience, it does get easier each step seems a little less difficult than the last. But you need to work at it, both of you. Rather than write general advice I would strongly...

A few years ago, I had a relationship with a lovely women, but eventually I ruined it because I tried to make it an exact copy of the relationship I had with my wife, so it became to me a poor imitation of my relationship with my wife, and for the girl a real trial. My point is ... if you try...

I came across the "cave" in the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" . I am dead set against it, if its just some macho, hide my head in the sand, not dealing with emotions place. I am really for it if its a place for reflection and learning. Personally I cannot cope unless I get a...

Personally, I think you are right to not expect other lovers etc not to contact him unless its an emergency. Polyamory brings new challenges and this is one of them. If everyone is open and there is no cheating then your partner should be able to give your landline to those people who need to...

I think you have to find what suits you and not worry about labels. We have a very simple set of rules, 1. Nobody gets hurt. 2. Honesty. 3. Ethical So no cheating, no affairs, no secrecy. I'm sure our MFM hetro V looks very different from others, but that does not matter if everyone is happy.

I really try not to do the counting thing. So "she had sex with him yesterday, so its my turn today etc" as I have found that overall it balances out. So if their was a crisis for her partner it was probably right for her to see him. We have experienced the same both ways. Wolf has had a crisis...

You probably need a bit of background. When I was much younger I used to get insanely jealous over Angel just over simple nights out or work events. But overtime I got over that. I also suffer from an anxiety disorder that is now well managed. So my methods for dealing with when Angel is away...

Same for us, it works on a part time basis but at present I could not see a full time thing happening because I like my private space and having lived with Angel forr 30+ years we know how each other works. Another person or persons would make me feel I lacked personal space, which is how I feel...

I can see where you are coming from. I have for work stayed away in hotels several nights a week in a cold lonely bed for 20+ years, so that per se is not an issue. In our case Angel stays with Wolf or vice versa generally one midweek night and one weekend night a week, so quite frequently. So...

Our experience so far has been similar, we try and be honest and we have not had any bad experiences from other people and we have come out. But we have experienced reactions from being ignored to welcomed. But that said we do not live or associate in a particularly religious community or country.

Hi I suffer from generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) which is well managed now and without medication for 5 years now. The conflict with polyamory is (a) is what I am feeling or how I am acting due to my polyamorous lifestyle; or (b) due to GAD. Symptoms of GAD and jealousy can be similar...

Yes Kevin, spot on. What is so hard Candielove is managing your emotions. I am actually quite good at it but nevertheless it is hard work, just felt like saying it. Angel and Wolf and everyone like them does need to know that sometimes the "other halves" work hard to give them their freedom...