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Hi indistress, Whether your profile stating 'male' is an oversight or whether it is the case, I'd like to try to contribute. It's understandable that she feels rejected, but you're being rational. It would not be a good idea to move in together when: 1) you haven't been in a romantic...

Hi Zebra, I understand where you are coming from - I think many (most? all?) of us have had these thoughts at some point. My main partner insists that she doesn't compare her partners, but I don't believe that it's possible not to make a single comparison of any kind between people we...

Hi polyconflicted, It's early days. Really. Very, very, very, very early days!! What you are experiencing is entirely normal and to be expected for the vast majority of people who explore poly for the first time. Remember that emotions are basically just like red flags popping up to caution...

Hi Memphis :) I can understand why it's daunting and a little overwhelming for you to be getting back into the dating pool, especially from this new angle. I think that there are plenty of people who live apart and plenty who actually prefer it this way :) For instance, whilst my partner...

You're very welcome, Mcal! I'm really glad that what I said helped you to feel comfortable with where you are at. I'd definitely agree with what you have said here - active listening and attentiveness are crucial parts of trust and poly, like with any form of relationship.

Hi starlight, I agree with much of what has already been said. All of Gala Girl's suggestions were really great. Essentially, as GG said, it all depends on what's important to you. What specifically didn't you like about your new guy's partner? Anything that gives you the impression she...

Hi Mcal, You asked me to elaborate on what poly freedom means to me in practice so that you can get a better picture of what a poly relationship might look like in reality. :) Obviously, it's different for everyone, but I take this approach: being poly means that I have the option to act on...

Hi AB, I can definitely understand the wish to connect with others who are in a similar boat to share experiences and support. My partner and I live in completely different countries (UK and US), so I get everything you are saying. Whilst your situation carries many blessings, constant travel...

Hi Bob, welcome! I'm not in two LD anchor relationships, but I am in one, and I do understand the challenges this poses. Is there anything in particular that you are struggling with?

Hi Mcal, Welcome to the forum. :) I agree with everything nycindie has said, really! You don't have to explore poly yourself yet if you aren't ready or sure of why you are doing it. There is something to be said for waiting. On the other hand, you primarily seem interested in discovering...

Welcome back, amandapitch :) I agree with GG that you're totally within your rights to simply ask questions! Have a conversation. If things are touchy with your partner now, avoiding communication doesn't seem like the best method for repairing things, really. Incidentally, I can see why this...

Hi honeybee, Welcome to the forum! I think you make a valid point that there much of the information out there on poly addresses coupled poly rather than solo poly. I can understand why you feel a little lost and overwhelmed. Here are my thoughts: I think that there's absolutely nothing...

Hi Jstar, It is very difficult when we enter, and progress through, a relationship thinking that we've covered certain ground only to later find that what we thought we signed up for is no longer the case. Unfortunately, change is the nature of relationships and human beings. So often we...

Hi Evil Elvis, and welcome! Firstly, the way you speak about your wife is adorable. It made me smile to read it! A few things jump out at me, but to start with - I agree with everyone else! You guys haven't messed up. What is happening between the two of you right now is actually so incredibly...

Hi Triangle, I understand what you are going through. Kevin T raises a good point that I was also going to say - is MC generally a scatty person? I cancel all the time on my best friends because we are all a changeable and disorganised bunch. Could it be that MC doesn't realise how much this...

Hi Wife, I think a lot of wonderful and helpful things have been said here already. In all honesty, I am quite appalled by your husband's behaviour - at least what I've heard from your side. All I can do is second the importance of holding your own and being your own rock. Once you learn to...

Also, I definitely agree that if your husband and your currently-joint female partner were to develop something much more intense than what you and her share, it would be well within your rights to start exploring a second partner for yourself - male or female. Not for revenge or to 'even the...

Hi fallen, Your situation is actually very common and you are not alone. I agree with all of the advice you've been given so far. It is incredibly rare to find a three-way relationship with an equal balance of interest/love/rapport/sexual connection. More often than not, two people in the...

Hi Kodana, I have to say, it's refreshing and wonderful to see a post where the currently-active poly person sounds so considerate and compassionate regarding their partner's insecurities. It sounds like your wife has a good handle on her emotions and recognises that insecurities just pop up...

Hi Hambient, Firstly, I'm sorry to hear that you have been involved in multiple abusive relationships. It is not surprising that you have a lot of confusion, anxiety and emotion to deal with. I would recommend talking to D about all of this. Does she know that you were in an abusive...