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Hi Annabel, I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. I think that many poly people fear that their partners - particularly those they don't live with - could eventually meet someone else and 'leave poly for monogamy'. I understand that you are hurting, and it's completely natural...

Hi Thornedlove, This is my line of thought also. I first came into my now-step-daughter's life when she was 2.5 yrs old. Even at this young age, she was incredibly attached to my girlfriend and her husband. For them to divorce at that time would definitely have had more of an impact on her...

Hi Mouse, Nice to meet you! You raise a good topic! Firstly, I think that many of us have faced dilemmas like this, and it can be difficult to know whether to settle for your lot or start a 'simple' dialogue about whether or not our partner would be cool with us going ahead with a little...

Hi Silas, and welcome back! If you do want to post your story, I'm sure we would be very happy to read through it. If not, let's go with what you've shared so far. I'm curious - have you been with the same girl you met on the farm, as mentioned in your previous posts? Have you been monogamous...

Hi mandalagirl, and welcome! Your post is very interesting, and I'd like to add to it. Some really fantastic advice here already. I have to second the following points: - You don't have to find threesomes comfortable to be poly! - You don't have to find every threesome awesome to eventually...

Hi Relssek, I'd love to hear the details if you want to share them. I'd also be very interested to hear what happened when you emailed her?

Hi Relssek, I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with finding someone who is as honest as you need them to be about their interactions. I can understand why you are upset about what happened. I noticed that a similar situation happened in one of your earlier threads - from May last year...

@breezy I definitely understand this. Sometimes it can feel incredibly frustrating, and we might even worry if it's a sign that we are simply not compatible with our partner - that we just cannot see eye to eye. However, I genuinely believe in the idea that what we see in others is a...

Hi Asparagus, It's a shame you decided to delete. I read your post earlier and had a response written out... the main thing I was going to say was that I don't think you're a jerk for writing what you wrote. I actually think you were being healthy! If a primary relationship isn't meeting your...

Hi breezy, and welcome! Your thread is very interesting to me. This is an issue I can certainly relate to, and I completely understand your frustrations. I will share my experiences with you in the hope that it helps, along with some opinions for you to think about. This issue comes up...

Kittykate, Stress less about what your husband's other partner is leading him into and think about what kind of person your husband is, or what kind of relationship you had, if he is so easily led away. Your husband decided to continue to date her despite your request for him not to. I'm not...

Hi midori, and welcome! I find your thread very interesting. I wonder if part of what you are feeling is the fear of being left behind. By this, I do not mean being left behind by your husband - but being left behind in poly no-man's land while your husband ventures into active poly. It...

Hi Maygen, You pose an interesting question - not *how* to tell the kids, but *when*. As you already acknowledged, I absolutely think it depends on many factors, including the age of the children. In my situation, I met my girlfriend's daughter when she was only 2. She's now almost 6. We...

Hi snowh8er, I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this. It sounds to me (at least from what you have written) that you're not so much threatened by your husband's new girlfriend, but either envious of the NRE between them, or more likely plain *despondent*. I think that, in poly...

Hi prettyinpink, Some great advice so far. I'll add my perspective in the hope that it helps. So your husband is also your Dom/Daddy. He has been looking for a slave for 2 years, and has finally found one. Perhaps a little bit of over-enthusiastic NRE-ness going on because of that. Has he ever...

Taken :) Good luck with your project!

Hi, Lissa. Happy Thanksgiving to you too! I understand why you have sold yourself as a single person. I can see how you have compartmentalised it. The problem is, I don't believe it's fair to your other guy. What if the other guy dreams of having something very serious with you, including...

Hi FacingComplexity, and welcome! If this helps, I too struggle with the "think about the benefits" argument. My girlfriend, for instance, often says to me "Instead of feeling bad about what you don't have, think about all the benefits you get from me being with my other partners." I scratch my...

Hi abjita, I'm in a similar situation to you - my main partner, who I live with, has three partners total. My main partner is also open to dating others. I completely understand how rough this can be. You're not wrong about J being stretched too thin. Balancing three partners is already a lot...

Hi neatfreak! I find your post really interesting. I definitely feel that this is a common issue across all types of relationships. Some wonderful advice has been given already, particularly by tenK. I will offer my experiences and input in the hopes that it gives you something extra to think...