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Shouldn't you have planned a future BEFORE getting married?

Eh, you might have lost your opportunity on this one. It's possible that you can still encourage him into this, but it will take patience and understanding.

Sounds like first off you have an extremely healthy relationship Awesome. However, it sounds like it's almost been TOO perfect. You're literally having to IMAGINE problems If I were him, I'd be super frustrated at the fact that I was being an awesome boyfriend, yet it still wasn't enough...

Than this is just really weird...

She's probably afraid you'll kick her out if she admits the truth. You say it's only Bud that has a problem, but your words say otherwise. Clearly, you don't like this new dynamic. And why would he not like it? He gets you and her? I can see him being afraid of too much pressure on him...

Of course she'll spend time with others. The idea is you get more freedom, too. She'll have an easier time, yes. But you can't have your cake and eat it too. If you want other women, you have to realize you'll get less time with her during her periods of success.

A summary A reddit link that sums it up better than I can here: http://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/2cncy4/the_its_easy_for_women_poly_myth/ Sex is not a competition. Neither is poly. Seriously. Chill.

Sounds awesome what you want. Know, however, that the chances of you finding a couple, where you and the other wife, and she and the other husband, both love each other equally, is almost impossible. Inevitably, relationships will progress at different rates. Think of it sensibly. If you...

Truly, if someone is not mentally sound, there is nothing at all you can do. You can shut yourselves off from everyone, but, saving that, you cannot stop yourself from being hurt and heartbroken sometimes. It sucks, but hopefully you'll be able to learn to let yourself trust again?

It's easy to imagine someone doing this when you experience it personally... Even if there are bank statements to prove to the contrary.

If Matt can't pull himself away from that, you'll only get dragged in if you stay with him. Sorry, honey.

People don't like to have unpleasant truths pointed out to them, and you're bound to get flak for it. Probably yelled at and accused. But you do need to be strong and stand up for what you need, rather than cater to others' insecurities. Wish you all the best!

Is she nervous about pooling the money, and than being screwed over, due to having less rights than you or he? I might suggest forming an LLC or some kind of legal contract to protect her in case of a breakup.

I saw this story and, while not exactly mine, resonated very strongly with me. The comments were all...well, I'd like to see opinions here first. "Hi. This is a very long post and I apologise that I can't keep it shorter, but I don't want to generalise too much. If you don't feel the long...

*Do I not rock the boat until he's happy again, or do I work on implementing my boundaries because that will make us both stronger and happier in the long term.* Not sure I understand this. At least some of his unhappiness seems to be coming from the fact that you won't let him pursue other...

True, but many mono people have the same mindset as poly, in that they don't believe in the scarcity model. If the OP does, I'd recommend not dating a poly person. He or she will only end up being disappointed.

"Half a relationship" is based on a scarcity model that says a person can only fully give themselves to one person. Poly folk generally don't believe in that. I was able to get 100% of my needs met from my one partner (obviously not ALL of my needs, but everything I desired from him and...

OP, do you want a primary style relationship with this woman? She may or may not be able to give it to you. But if that's what you require for your own relationships, know that many married women will be happy to make you an equal partner beside their spouse.

I really dislike when people blame the structure for a reason that relationships can't be equitable. Perhaps you don't want multiple primaries. Perhaps you aren't able to manage several relationships in a balanced way. But saying that additional relationships MUST be given less attention...

It's weird, but at least she didn't overtly replace you with a new boyfriend, in your own home, and kick you out of it, while not actually telling you that was what she was doing.