TangleDiamond2
New member
Just for backgrounds sake, I'm in a quad. Im dating both the husband, Matt and the wife, Maria. And my husband, Steve, had been dating the other wife. Maria has recently become very overly needy of her husbands affection. (My husband is very distant with us all lately due to outside factors) and she has basically asked Matt to scale back his relationship with me. That it is getting too serious. They were fighting about something new everyday and she was really struggling with a new issue everyday. Matt and I are in love. It's still in the NRE phase and I'm head over heels as I know he is. But he also feels like he has to keep the peace in his home. They have been together for nearly 20 yrs and our relationship is less than a year old. I wish my husband, Steve would pick up some slack and help with her neediness but he is barely paying me or her any attention, emotionally or physically.. I feel like I can't help much because I am a big source of her insecurities. Because she gets uncomfortable knowing how strong me and Matts bond is (the deepest of the group) and how she doesn't have that type of bond yet with Steve or me.
So, in short, I'm with three people and feel incredibly alone right now. This primary/secondary structure is just really hard. Why does their relationship mean more than mine! Why are her feelings more valid than mine? I'm not getting my needs met from anyone right now. Granted, I'm not fully verbalized that to anyone. I am always the rock, the unwavering one... So I'm trying to be strong for everyone. Matt says that it will only be temporary until she 'gets over it'... And that we at least know in our own hearts how we feel about each other even if we can't fully do what we want with each other right now. He is getting so frustrated with her constant issues tHat their relationship is really strained right now.
And I don't even know what's going on with my own marriage. Steve is so preoccupied with work responsibilities that I am an afterthought. We are more like roommates than friends, or lovers. And Matt has been the most passionate person towards me... We are electric together. It was like it was meant to be... And I can see the longing desperation in his eyes to want to be with me.... But I'm not his 'wife'... She is.
I guess I'll keep being the one who never has any issues and stays stoic through it all. But in reality, I know iI need to speak up. We have always communicated really well. Any advice...?
So, in short, I'm with three people and feel incredibly alone right now. This primary/secondary structure is just really hard. Why does their relationship mean more than mine! Why are her feelings more valid than mine? I'm not getting my needs met from anyone right now. Granted, I'm not fully verbalized that to anyone. I am always the rock, the unwavering one... So I'm trying to be strong for everyone. Matt says that it will only be temporary until she 'gets over it'... And that we at least know in our own hearts how we feel about each other even if we can't fully do what we want with each other right now. He is getting so frustrated with her constant issues tHat their relationship is really strained right now.
And I don't even know what's going on with my own marriage. Steve is so preoccupied with work responsibilities that I am an afterthought. We are more like roommates than friends, or lovers. And Matt has been the most passionate person towards me... We are electric together. It was like it was meant to be... And I can see the longing desperation in his eyes to want to be with me.... But I'm not his 'wife'... She is.
I guess I'll keep being the one who never has any issues and stays stoic through it all. But in reality, I know iI need to speak up. We have always communicated really well. Any advice...?