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"Price of admission" seems like a good term. A hoop for me implies effort above and beyond what is typically expected. It's a "hoop" or whatever for me to ask a friend to only see me after 9pm on weekdays. It's not a "hoop" for me to expect them to call if they're running more than a few...

I usually think of "hoops" as games I have to play, or stupid shit like that. Getting STD testing is not a "hoop" for me. It's easy, free (I think there are times when you have to pay for it, but TONS of places offer free STD testing), and very accessible.

I feel for you, but honestly, you really should have been more honest with yourself BEFORE having kids with this guy. You went into this knowing he was poly and had even had an active polyamorous relationship before you. Now you are miserable because of it. The only thing I can suggest is...

I don't care how unsexy it is....I open up every threesome talk with the fact that we use protection with any outside relationships and that we test, respectively, every six months.

Yep. This is weird.

It's one thing realizing you're poly after you have kids, but I'm not sure it's fair to bring a kid into this world, knowing you'll have to split your life in half(?) because one of your partners refuses to have the other involved in their life. It's Brooke's right to not be a part of Thomas'...

My initial thought was, you don't have a mono/poly relationship. You have an active poly/lazy poly relationship :) In other words, you date girls....and he dates the girls you date :) If you do end up dating the same women, which is cool, I think it'll be pretty tricky (and asking a LOT of...

You do know that parents aren't legally obligated to pay for their kids' college, right?

Half your time? That doesn't sound like a secondary relationship....

Myself, I wouldn't have kids with someone I didn't have a primary relationship with. My boyfriend and I have talked abut it. But, especially considering we can't get legally married (he already is), I would want the comfort and security of knowing we are a priority to each other before...

Sorry, but it sounds like you got plenty of attention. Actually it sounds like you even neglected her. When I invite a girl to join me and my partner, She's the guest. She s the primary focus. I would feel bad if she DIDN'T feel the center of attention.

Doing things wrong? I don't know what that really means. Obviously, you two were not on the same page. I can't really speak for her. But I can give you an insight into how I would feel if I were here (and a possible way, of many, she could feel). If I were to put myself in her shoes, I'd...

I get that you feel a little hurt and confused by this....but...here's a thought for you: Has it occurred to you that perhaps her talk of poly was actually motivated, in part, by your telling her about your desire to cross dress? I mean, it's a bit funny that she told you about this so soon...

I can sympathize. I don't fear for my life, as the gay community has in the past, but truthfully? It's one thing to be gay in the South; it's another to be a gay fashion designer in LA or NYC. My gay friends in San Fran aren't worried about being electrocuted or stoned. In fact, it's...

I probably wasn't very clear, my bad. I'm in my twenties and usually date people in their twenties. Most of my friends, people I meet are very frank about whether they're looking to settle down or whether they just want to date. Usually what happens is I'll just ask, What are you looking for...

I'm afraid I can't relate to any of AJoy's as I don't live with my partner, well, sort of partners, I've recently begun dating this woman in town. But I've never really worried about chores or bathrooms. I figure it'll be similar to having roommates? And I've done that before. As far as...

Hmmm, perhaps it does deserve a thread, but I'll answer here :) Well, you can't ever know, and I've definitely had one night stands, and intimacy on the first date...but see, that's why it's not a rule for me. It's a standard. With my current partner, we play sometimes, but casual flings are...

I'm usually way too hard on people :) Still, I get this "ick" feeling whenever I think of trying to control someone's sex life/romantic feelings. Don't get me wrong; I won't date people who don't have standards in this (No unprotected sex with untrusted people, none night stands, etc.) But I...

You mean this? :) "What I have in mind at the moment is one "romantic" relationship, i.e have a girlfriend who I have strong feelings for and her for me, but we are allowed to have sex with other people. I had in mind that we would be able to do it with anyone, with some exceptions like mutual...

I go about poly so similarly to monogamy, that I feel I sometimes have fewer "poly" benefits (for now, as it's mostly just him and me.) But.... Positives - Being able to go out and flirt, without feeling guilty - Being about to get another boyfriend/girlfriend if I want (starting to happen...