Annoying:
-Deciding what to have for dinner with so many decision makers in the house
Hmmm...whoever is cooking/shopping (i.e. NOT me) decides what we eat.
-three adults sharing a single bathroom
Luckily...we have 1.5 baths, the main one has 2 sinks and no-one is particularly shy.
-picking work clothes off of the floor for three of us... I honestly just had to give up
Each of us is responsible for our own laundry, I sort mine into my laundry baskets as it needs to be washed...if they don't...too bad - the dogs will sleep on it, the cat will mess on it, NOT my problem.
- trying to find things is more difficult because everyone has their own idea of where to put things
This is mainly an issue, for me, in the kitchen...which is Dude's area. He seems to put things away randomly. If I can't find a coffee cup I look in the dishwasher...other than that, if I can't find it then he has to go and fetch it for me. (We each have our own areas of the house that we are responsible for...)
Bonus:...- chores get done a lot faster when we work on them together.
...GRrrr... or never get done because the are SEP ("Somebody Else's Problem for non-Douglas Adams fans).
-no need for a house sitter unless all three of us travel at the same time.
I'd substitute "pet-sitter" but yeah...especially now that Lotus is in the mix. (not that it was a huge issue - family is close. as is a decent kennel).
- there has often been one survivor when cold or flu has struck, leaving the remainder of us with a caretaker.
Yup.
Positives
- Being able to go out and flirt, without feeling guilty
I never felt guilty about "flirting" - I do it as naturally as I breathe/
- Being about to get another boyfriend/girlfriend if I want (starting to happen with one girl now)
Sure? I've never tried to "get" another boyfriend/girlfriend...they just tend to "happen".
- Being able to fantasize about other partners with my partner
You can't do that in mono relationships? I mean, it's just fantasy (I've never actually been in a truly mono-ship, so I'm just asking...).
- (almost) always having someone I'm interested in/flirting with/dating to talk to (if not see in person)
I can see that, sort of. I would phrase it as - "Always having someone available if I feel the need to interact with people." Although, to be honest, my friends can also fulfill this role. One always has the option of flirting with strangers if you need some validation.
Negatives
- Having to hide my primary relationship on a daily basis
Huh?!? What?!?
- Unusual problems with metamours (I've never been shot at, as happened to a friend, but I have been screamed at in public, in front of people)
Yeah...NO! Not. If there were even the merest possibility of that sort of drama I would NOT be there...
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Positives:
An additional layer of support if I need it.
My loves/partners have another layer of support if I am not in a position to provide it - they are taken care of, even if not by ME.
I don't have to restrict my genuine feelings for other people based on some societal idea of what is "acceptable".
more love = more happy = more better
Negatives:
More people are affected by my actions/decisions (including metamours and .... what's the next step?...my metamour's partners and their partners and their partners, etc. etc. ad nauseum - and their families...and who is "out"...Jeesh!) - must consider all ramifications.
More people may want more of my time = may not have enough "alone" time. Lucky for me, my people are pretty independent/have other partners or interests. (Thank goodness!)
Co-ordination of plans is a BITCH (mainly because Dude is an anti-planner...doh, my OCD trembles...probably NOT a poly issue)
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I'm feeling really happy and comfy and loved right now....so i might be biased. All the NRE's seem to have run their course and we are just enjoying each other and interested to see what else develops.
JaneQ
