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  1. Inaniel

    A great opportunity that I'm not sure how to approach.

    It's messy... Not that introductions to polyamory aren't messy sometimes, and I have had my share of messy relationships.. You have consented to a monogamous arrangement, entered into a monogamous marriage, created offspring within that marriage. Now, suddenly when the old flame comes around...
  2. Inaniel

    Need advice from polys

    Poly can sometimes be used as an excuse for having an affair. It sounds like your wife may have had an affair with no intention of reciprocity.
  3. Inaniel

    Wife is wanting to open our marriage up

    What is the point of calling someone out who is clearly unstable? If what you say is the whole story you are beyond logic and rational with this person. The way you handle manipulation is to not associate with it. I know you have been tolerant of this chaos for a great many years and you will...
  4. Inaniel

    Wife is wanting to open our marriage up

    It may be wise to begin compiling records of your wife's mental illness. You are doing the right thing in getting help.
  5. Inaniel

    No Dating Action

    I do not go to the river to look for women, I go to the river for me. To challenge my mind and my body. To submit myself to the forces of nature, and to see the world from perspective of the river. If that activity sounds fun to you; absolutely go on a guided river trip. It's not very...
  6. Inaniel

    No Dating Action

    Not to sound cliché, but if what you are doing is not working, try something different. And don’t hang up the towel if this is something you really want. There are resources for dating. Search around a bit and find something that makes sense to you. Look for men in your area to make friends...
  7. Inaniel

    Vagina Size

    I am going to disagree with Kevin on this one. With that said, obviously I do not speak for all men. The tightest vagina I ever encountered certainly was not the best intercourse I experienced… It was painful for myself. And it was definitely painful for the woman. Having a partner tense up...
  8. Inaniel

    Tips for Closets?

    I am in the hinge position in my relationships and I was the one who experienced the most anxiety about issues such as hierarchy, segregation of relationships, social media, ect… While selectively coming out to family and friends was beneficial in conquering negative feelings, I think...
  9. Inaniel

    Advice on ONS in poly

    I have a friend who always liked fast cars. Every time I went out with him felt like a near death experience to me. Whether that was a reality is besides my point, but that is how it felt. If the activities of others cause you stress, discomfort, fear, or you simply oppose the behavior on...
  10. Inaniel

    How to have a successful polyamory relationship? ( In a V polyamory with twin brothers )

    If you were to become pregnant, making a paternity determination could become complicated. Something else that may warrant a conversation depending on the situation. Anyway, circling back to your question about "romantic polyamory". Polyamory is the existence of multiple loves; platonic love...
  11. Inaniel

    How to have a successful polyamory relationship? ( In a V polyamory with twin brothers )

    It's possible that L may desire to see other people eventually. Since this is all new to you, it may be a good idea to start thinking about how you feel about that. Out of curiosity, are they identical twins?
  12. Inaniel

    Seeking open marriage, husband is strongly monogamous

    Cheating is a means to an end. Therefore my hunch tells me that you have the desire to end the relationship. Many people cheat, and then leave it to the spouse to end the relationship. Can you think of any good reason to destroy the relationship in leu of pursuing an ethical ending? I think...
  13. Inaniel

    What are the laws regarding polygamy in US

    So you pay for sex with women. The down side being they don’t like you and band together to scheme you out of more money. But on the plus side they are cheap. But then again on the downside you are raising a child with someone who doesn’t like you, and doesn’t respect you. Up to this...
  14. Inaniel

    What should I do next?

    Whenever I hear men talk about women being the reason they cannot get dates, being ghosted, friend zoned, or however else they choose to make women responsible for their own dating woes... I do not wonder what the problem is with women, I wonder what the problem is with the person stuck in the...
  15. Inaniel

    What are the laws regarding polygamy in US

    So do you represent the top 20% of men, or the scraps?
  16. Inaniel

    Not sure how to feel and if it's right

    I agree that she is not that into you… She walked onto the relationship escalator with Blue when she moved in with him (regardless of whatever “excuse” for the cohabitation trickled down to you). She is prioritizing him over you in every way conceivable. Blue is not the problem, the problem...
  17. Inaniel

    For Monos: when/what quelled your fears of your poly partner leaving you?

    I think what I realized is that nothing is safe. And then I learned how to deal with that. I don’t worry about partners leaving because I know it won’t end me, my romantic life, or my ability to love others.
  18. Inaniel

    Poly and pregnancy.

    I think your partners are being naive…. And I think you already know what you need to do. Maybe your just looking for affirmation about how you are feeling? Admittedly when Bird was pregnant we used to say the same things. “The baby won’t change anything,” “We will travel all the time with...
  19. Inaniel

    In what way is he attracted to me?

    People tend to attract those who re-affirm existing internal beliefs. We tend to surround ourselves with people that have similar ethics, behaviors, and interests to our own. It is no mystery to me how you have come to find yourself surrounded by two men who appear to have compromised ethics...
  20. Inaniel

    In what way is he attracted to me?

    I agree It IS manipulative behavior to tell someone to be careful what they say at the risk of you hurting yourself. Calling out manipulation is not an insult, and i mean it to be constructive. If you were raised in a manipulative household it’s not your fault that you developed manipulative...
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