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Your first post is short, but I get the idea that you are talking about a married or long-term couple, where one or both decide they want to open a closed mono relationship to polyamory. What is the reality? Has one of them become deeply attracted to a third party? Does one of them have needs...

Just so you know, the term metamour refers to another partner of your partner. Say there are three people, Apple, Berry and Orange. If Berry is dating both Apple and Orange, those two are each other's metamours. As for your question, it depends on whether a polyamorous person is solo or...

And sometimes we say, we can like steak, love steak, but that doesn't mean that's all we want to eat for the rest of their lives. Sometimes we might want pasta, or sushi, or Super Fudge Chunk. It doesn't mean we want to give up steak forever! Or, we have one child, and when it gets to be two...

Since this thread is not pertaining to polyamory, but some kind of "competition" kink, I am closing it to further replies.

I didn't say it was an "open relationship," just that you two "opened" your relationship, meaning, to polyamory. I get you. Sometimes we don't realize we are polyamorous until just the right person comes along. We may have been happily monoamorous all our lives, when we suddenly realize we've...

I am curious about the deeper dynamics here too. Why did the OP and his wife open their relationship? Who still posts on a shared PC in the living room and leaves the page open nowadays? Are we in 2004? Did she want to be caught? Was it a test? If this couple has kids, who was going to share in...

Yes, my partners and I both started our relationships as polyamorous ones. But I definitely do not think that opening a longer-term relationship means one partner or the other is "substandard," at least as I understand the word substandard. Can you expand on your premise or theory some more...

Without writing a long post, I also want to concur that heartbreak does heal over time. You'll always feel the grief of a great loss, whether through an "unfair" breakup, like this one, where you were "vetoed" by her husband, or through a death, or losing a dear friend, family member, or lover...

I think we can see from the opinions expressed here that for polyamorists, non-hierarchical paradigms work best. Western culture, the US Constitution, etc., place emphasis on equality, so I believe that carries over into what we (most of us) want in polyamorous relationships. The idea of the...

Hi and welcome, We ask that all couples coming here "seeking a third to add to our relationship" to please read this, for educational purposes and to comply with the intent of the forum. https://polyamory.com/threads/a-note-for-couples-posting-seeking-ads.156754/ If you would like any...

I think this situation would be clearer to your readers if people had nicknames. I will use generic names. You can of course, choose others. Apple- your gf Mango- her ex turned present partner Grape- Apple's ex who was abusive So I see that you fully rescued Apple from Grape after only knowing...

Well, a lot of us dislike the term secondary, so we wouldn't choose to be classified as one. If you yourself want to be a "secondary," go for it. If the person you want to date is making sure you know you will always be sort of a second class partner, a "side piece," and you don't like that...

Oh really? And there is group sex, or just cuddle puddles? Of the poly people I know personally, there is none of that. I shared a bed with two partners once, for one night, when I attended a kink con with them both, and my bf got us a hotel room onsite. Not to derail this thread, maybe this...

Yes, there are clear benefits to being a "secondary." Of course, it depends on your personality, and other factors in your life. If you live a distance from your partner, you may seldom be able to see them. You like your independence. You are partnered, and have a primary (or perhaps two...

You can judge me and GalaGirl harshly and say we were harshly judgmental. ;) However, I don't think we were "harsh." In fact, as per the Guidelines, I think we were both rather kind, asked a lot of questions, were concerned for the OP's safety and comfort. I found his post somewhat confusing and...

(Yeah, I'd love to add more to the derailment, but) as a mod I guess I have to say, let's drop this and see if the OP comes back.

I can see that. But cuckoldry is a kink, rather rare, compared to people who want to practice polyamory, or attempt to do mono/poly. So I am not sure either that dinged should assume this guy is a cuck, nor should we assume enough men are cucks in general to assure them that if only they were...

Another thing that can happen when a man starts dating someone new is that he can still get hard for his established partner, but can't get hard for his new gf, no matter how badly he wants to fuck her. It's like his penis is still monogamous, even though his brain is polyamorous, polysexual or...

Hi and welcome. You've been together only 9 months and are already cohabiting? How long have you been living together? Did you move into her place or vice versa? How had the living together and the relationship in general been going before she dropped the poly bomb? Generally most formerly...

I'm happy for you. Brainwashing can really die hard, especially if you've been religiously indoctrinated. It could be worse. At least you're doing it. I'd imagine, after a few years, it will seem normal.