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Do you exercise? Supposed to help regulate your hormones and help you sleep better at night. Besides that... why push it? I've always found in my life, anything I have to force, usually isn't worth it. I'm not talking about the occasional struggle or "learning opportunity" but if something is...

I totally don't think it's realistic at all. I was just making explicit the sacrifice he's expected to make to "save" the relationship. She's willing to walk away, so it's all up to him to go to unrealistic extremes to make it happen.

Why didn't M password protect their phone? While I, too, would be upset if someone deleted pics off my phone, I don't have any pics that violate agreements I made with my partners. M getting so offended over the deleted boob pics seems to demonstrate that boob pics and flirting were more...

What he considers cheating is less important than what his wife considers cheating, and I suspect kissing and "a lot of touching" would make the list for most people. I'm going to go ahead and guess you're not the cheating type, assuming your Buddhist identity isn't just a catchy new age trend...

There's "in the closet" and there's just "not making a big fuss about it." Like, straight mono people aren't hiding anything, but they aren't running around telling everyone about it either. They just take it for granted. Similarly, I just take it for granted that I'm polyamorous and pansexual...

Probably the least conspicuous way to disclose your status is just casually mention your other partner, using words like "girlfriend" or "husband," in context. Bonus if you can find an opportunity to use the word "polyamory/ous" and open up an actual dialogue about your lifestyle. Other than...

I think the most important factor isn't their experience actually doing poly, but rather their self-awareness and willingness to work through difficult emotions without expecting someone else to change their behaviour. My gf was my first real-life poly experience. I'd been on this forum for 2...

I missed that she was only 20 (who the hell gets married that young? No wonder they're having so many problems.) I assumed that because they were married, they were older and in something of a position of care for someone who's coming out of abuse at home and bullying at school, making it...

To play devil's advocate, there's a good chance he wasn't fully aware until he discovered what romantic attraction could really feel like. I've seen that happen a lot with couples who married young and/or didn't have a lot of relationship experience before they married. So finish the business...

There's variation here too (Canada), ranging from 16 to 18 being the age where truancy laws cease to apply. But one of the fucked up things about the American health care system is that you're more likely to get help in jail than on the streets, so getting charged with truancy might not be the...

For some people, it's not possible to have sex without developing deep feelings. However, it's perfectly possible to have romantic relationships that are not sexual, or that express sex in different ways than intercourse (make sure to get clarification on her meaning of "sex"). Ideally, of...

Whoops good catch. Looks like I'm the one doing the misreading.

My husband is always pointing out nice butts. I could care less. That in and of itself is obviously not divorce worthy. But... We're not talking about occasionally pointing out a nice rack on the street. We're talking about repeatedly demeaning his own wife, for two days straight, going on and...

Thank you for the clarification!! That makes much more sense. So then I would think... the best way to learn the "proper" approach of radical honesty is through therapy, either couples or individual. Seems like something that would be incredibly difficult to navigate on one's own, especially...

Sweet, they even have it at my library! They almost never have the books I want.

Valid point. Then again, I'm not the kind of person who takes in stray humans. Letting people stay with you without a specific action plan for healing is just enabling, not helping. This isn't like someone escaping an abusive relationship who needs to get out now and can figure out the details...

You're :confused: confused because you misread it...

Especially one who comes from an abusive upbringing. I've met lots of people who think their difficult childhoods made them grow-up faster, but as someone who actually has her life together, I find the opposite to be true. They usually don't have the experience or awareness to understand the...

I see them as two separate conditions. For example, I was friends (fwb eventually) with a guy who was constantly turned on by me, and made no bones about it. But that in and of itself did nothing for me, and was very annoying most of the time. But once in a while I'd be receptive for reasons of...

I just found a .pdf"]PDF copy of Dr. Blanton's book online, the quack who invented the term "radical honesty," and it's as bad as it sounds. Actually it pretty much does, if you read the book by the guy who invented the term. While I think your approach is infinitely more rational and...