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I agree with Vicki. You've taken her post completely out of context. I read it as hobbies we are passionate about taking up a similar amount of time and energy as a second relationship. She was not comparing her relationship to a hobby just the time and energy expended. Anyone who regularly...

It sounds like a perfect night! Thanks for sharing :) I'm glad you both had fun!

I don't currently live with any romantic partners. I have basic toiletries at both houses but mostly I just pack a bag each time I spend the night. Since Blue & I have been together off/on for so long, I have accumulated clothing & other things (like a blowdryer, combs, clips, etc) at his...

I think most reasonable people will agree that your girlfriend and her boyfriend should use condoms. But, even if we all agree that they should use condoms, it won't change anything. Presumably, your girlfriend is very aware of how you feel about this topic and she's made it clear that she'd...

That's awesome, Evie :)

Congratulations, Sunray! I hope the move goes smoothly and no more books or things or people are harmed in the move :) Can't wait to hear your update after RacingSnail is all settled in your home.

Most cat doors come with a way to lock them...and keep them in during dinner. If you don't want to cut into the door, you can also install it in a wall. The only potential issue I see is that Eddie can also come and go through the cat door. Though I guess, technically, he can any time the...

Fingers crossed that DarkKnight gets an offer or three soon!

If moving out isn't an option at this point, I second galagirl. Detach and treat them like roommates. Be polite in passing but otherwise stop engaging with them. Move into the guest room, pay the bills you're responsible for, clean up after yourself, but otherwise go on with your life as if...

This. Very confused, this is why I recommended counseling to you. It can be difficult to see emotional abuse when you're in the middle of it. Counseling has helped me to recognize it and change my patterns of behavior so that I don't accept unacceptable behavior and i don't get involved with...

Are you sure he's capable of poly? It definitely sounds like he's in NRE and making lots of rookie mistakes. The desire to spend more time with the new partner and less with existing partners is common during the early days. A more experienced poly person learns how to balance that desire with...

The thing is, you can't control how other people feel (nor should you try.) The hormones released during sex are designed to generate feelings and promote attachment...this is why many of us (myself included) can not regularly have sex with someone without developing attachments. This is one...

I agree with KC. Your partner's relationship with your meta is their relationship...their business. Unless it's an emergency situation, it's usually best to stay out of their business. This is why I am never friends with my metas on social media...that way I won't accidentally stumble...

I'll second this.

Living like roommates is not "being a wonderful husband" in my opinion. Unless that's how you've agreed to live. You are right that asking him to end his relationship with his girlfriend would cause more harm than good. It sounds like you both have resentments to work through if you're going...

Honestly, this doesn't sound like too much kitchen table poly, it sounds like poly hell. Sometimes people get carried away earlier in the new relationship due to all the NRE and it eventually evens back out when the NRE begins to wane....but given that you've said the relationship is a few...

I'm not a fan of using condoms or dental dams for giving oral or for receiving. I just avoid giving on the rare occasion that I have any mouth sores, or receiving if my partner has sores (any sores not just HSV sores... I'm HSV neg). I do prefer condoms for all male partners and I don't share...

Congratulations!!!

On the kid front, if this does continue long term, is P & D having children off the table? Or all three of you cohabitating and raising the children together? Obviously it's too early to do those things, but it's something you may consider for down the road if the relationships are still going...

I guess it doesn't really matter now, but my opinion is to follow your gut and not let the boyfriend stay at your house. My experience is that an addict's only true loyalty is to the drug of choice. It's not personal it's just about feeding the addiction. Boyfriend has no reason not to steal...