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Hi Magdlyn, I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling fried as a result of Ginger's activity. I can tell from your updates that you are hurt and angered by all of this. If it helps, I have been where you are, and I will no doubt be there again, so I can absolutely, entirely relate. My GF is a...

Interesting thread. I can see both sides of the coin. I agree with the consensus, but I also always find something illuminating in what Marcus has to say. Your wants/needs are no more or less important than Dan's. The problem here is a) how willing you both are to compromise, b) how much you...

Thank you for the responses so far - I appreciate it so much. Dagferi - I had originally hoped to request that she picks a different time of night to talk to him, if she's going to be talking to him frequently. Though at this point I don't feel like any requests for compromises will be met...

Hi guys. My GF had a troublesome but intense relationship that ended last Spring. She is now considering dating the guy (we'll call him Mike) again. I could really use some help navigating this. They originally broke up (9 months ago) because my GF couldn't handle the stress from both him and...

Hi Epsilon :) I'm glad that you told Anne. Whatever happens with Anne, or doesn't happen, open and honest is definitely the way to go about it. ~grins~ Well... she could genuinely be busy. She could genuinely be concerned about your marriage being early poly. The other alternative is that...

Whoo... it's gettin' hot in here (so hot)... so take off all your clothes... Forgive me. Just having a little moment 9and taking my clothes off, apparently). ;) What an interesting topic. Hi, Scarlet. First, apologies for the length. I've read through all of the posts here and this is what...

Hi cmurach :) You know, I do think that it's natural at times for long term relationships to start falling to pieces under pressure. Outside stressors, long-held resentments, poor communication, passive aggressive behaviour, and certainly unmet expectations. These things can sneak up without us...

You're completely and entirely welcome, Silver. And it sounds like you're thinking along the right lines, too!

Hi Faery, I'm so sorry to hear that you are sad. Let's gather the positives and the things to think about. All is not lost. The first thing is that love doesn't necessarily have to mean living together and sharing the stereotypical 'primary' (for want of a better term) things of finances...

Hi Silver, I've had a read through everything you've said, including your additional comments, and I thought I'd give you my thoughts. You're in the exploration stage, it seems. You are trying to figure out what it is that you want with your boyfriend, for a start (long term? monogamish...

Hi Villo, This is an interesting question. I'm going to agree with most of the other input, with a few of my own twists The first twist is speaking as a person who has been on the other side of my partner's disapproval of my choices / other relationships / conduct in those relationships. It...

Hi AL, Whoo, six dogs. That is busy! ~grins~ Actually... I think it's worse when a lot of time is available to begin with and then it drastically changes. I think if you start with a certain schedule, I don't see the issue. God, I don't even like to date every week. I could chat online to a...

Actually, I think it's more selfish to want to possess a person than to love two people. I have been where you are and my boyfriend at the time was wonderful about me being able to date the other person I was in love with. Where you might be thought of as selfish is if you expect to be in a...

Hi there, I read everything you wrote and honestly... there are a lot of issues between the two of you. Have you two had any space? Are you living together? Did the cheating happen two months ago or have I gotten that wrong? You should definitely take a look at the life stories and blogs...

Hi :) What strikes me after reading your thread is that hubby is basically feeling envy and also feeling like things are out of control. Both entirely normal feelings when one is new to poly (or even when one isn't). I also think that what you are going through is the 'normal' response to...

Hi Flower, :) I'm a poly parent. I live with my gf and her husband, who have a four year-old daughter. (I'll call her Baby.) She is now considered by all of us as my daughter too. I have been a part of their family for just over two years, so I can speak both as the 'other partner' coming in as...

Hi :) I like schedules, because I think they actually make everything a hell of a lot easier - not just practicality-wise; but in terms of avoiding the battles surrounding issues of neglect and so on. My GF, on the other hand, hates schedules. What I don't personally find necessary is...

Oh dear.... ~grimaces~ Not good... not good at all. I understand what you are going through. Alright... I'm going to offer a different opinion here. There is a famous Lao Tzu teaching that goes: "Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your...

Hi Cusp, Welcome back. I read through your older thread from when you first came here for advice. I'm really glad that you and Mike are now aboveboard. I don't mean to sound judgmental, but I am being. ;) I do question Mike's ethics. Not everyone in polyamory is ethical and not every...

As Marcus said; everyone already seems to have this covered. I'd just like to add one thing. There is a preconception that if one is open to being poly, or is adamantly poly, they need to be concerned about 'inflicting' this on mono folk. This implies a sense of separation that you also find...