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I have experienced this sort of abuse. I was not poly then, so I can't say how being poly might have impacted the situation, but surely having more people to love and offer emotional and moral support could not have hurt. Unless this young woman is in physical danger, she will ultimately have...

WHAT? Where on earth did you get that? The sanctity of sex (or its lack of sanctity) is no more and no less clear and concrete for poly people than for mono people. Polyamorous people are just more honest and open about that fact, and about the fact there is a wide variety of opinions and...

BrotherMan, You and your wife have some serious issues the two of you need to address, so that you get your marriage on the right track. Among them are basic fairness, trust, honesty and communication, going strictly on what you have written on this forum. A counselor or therapist might be...

If it were me, I'd wait awhile. When the fruit is ripe it will fall from the tree. If you make an "announcement" you're inviting reactions, good bad and indifferent. If you just live your life, and go about the business of creating a stable, happy life for yourself and your loved ones, many...

Your boyfriend has told you in clear and uncertain terms that he is not interested in pursuing polyamory in any form. You're pretty sure you're poly. These two mindsets are mutually exclusive. Sorry to be blunt, but it seems to me like its time for you to decide whether you want him and...

That is EXACTLY why I like to tell that story. :D

You might be shocked to know how often exactly this happens. It IS completely unacceptable, but it is a reality that some obese people face daily. At least the ignorant comments to you are intended as a compliment for the most part. In college I had a dear friend who struggled with a...

Good for him, getting clean. Is he working a 12 step program? Asking forgiveness and making amends is one of the steps. And good for you, that you are willing to rebuild a friendship.

Hi Jamie, Welcome back. I'm not familiar with your story, although I've been a member of this community almost as long as you. "Call me" seems pretty dramatic and imperious to me. Is this guy the sort to want to stir the stink? "Call me, please, I'd like to speak with you about ___," would be...

Smart's not enough to do it for me. I know plenty of smart people I wouldn't touch with somebody else's ten foot pole. But it is a key component. So is generosity. Personal integrity is huge for me. So is confidence. Kindness and compassion. PASSION! Definitely passion! And not just sexual. I...

Am I missing something? I don't understand. You and Harlan are solid in your relationship. Y'all have agreed to be polyamorous. Y'all have progressed along that path to the extent that he already has a girlfriend. In what way would you loving someone in addition to your husband change...

Those balls of steel: you've prolly still got 'em. They might be a li'l rusty, is all. Find 'em, polish 'em up a little. You'll be fine.

Can you talk to your wife about all of this? This business of just showing up at your office sounds hinky to me. And about his being at the party: did your wife know and just not tell you until you were walking up, or was it something else? Because I know that in those same circumstances my...

You may be exactly right, Derby. Another factor that may contribute is the fact that emotional and physical needs don't get placed on hold when a service member is away, and polyamory is an ethically valid approach to addressing those needs in an honest and open way. Polyamory beats...

Hi dinged, Sorry for your troubles. Welcome to the forum. Like vodkafan, I also believe there are plenty of benefits to polyamory, enough to have agreed to make the transition from traditional monogamy. But it certainly is not for everyone, not by a long shot. The only person who can decide...

I have dealt with issues like this before, and here's what worked for us: acknowledging that endlessly dwelling on and circling around an issue was draining the joy out of us, we agreed establish a set amount of time for venting, say 15 minutes or whatever you think you might need, and set a...

My Boston terrier snoring. Well, it's music to me!

When I am experiencing some emotion (sadness, fear, joy, whatever) and I cannot identify why, here's what I do. I find a quiet spot. Get comfortable. Breathe. I consciously give myself permission to be honest. I ask myself why I'm feeling ___, and then wait patiently for the answer. This almost...

For me, the bed is I share with Fidelio not just a bed. It is our marriage bed, and it is sacred to us as a symbol of the rest and peace we find in each other. Others have slept there: napping children, lazy dogs, family elders. But we don't bring other lovers into it. Fidelio built our bed...

makes me think of peaches and snickers. . . .;):D