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Hey Imajica, A couple starters: 1. Be prepared for the cowboy/cowgirl syndrome. Advertising that you are "open" to many people will mark you as easy pickings for fun times, and some can sing a pretty convincing song. I don't mean this to sound cynical, but the fact is that knowledge of real...

It appears that the need for balance was recognized thousands of years ago, and the sages of the time decided to try to use the gender predispositions to achieve that balance. Didn't work. The balance has to be achieved independent of gender predisposition, and that can only happen through...

Hey Ray, Good post that may get some activity, because it's a lot bigger issue than most want to get into and try to deal with. Your statement "dichotomy is present in terms of gender characteristics, i.e., women are emotional and irrational, while men are logical and rational," summarizes the...

Beautiful ! Love it ! GS

Hey RP :), I think it can work. I see others have given some solid examples of why and how so I won't repeat. I could almost envision it as a tool in some circumstances that allows you to get into the really deep conversations that are difficult to even get to until you have some kind of...

Okay, time out Hi Freetime, I don't know your background, so I can't project whether you will listen to any of this with an open mind or not. It's important to understand that the desire and curiosity to experience something/someone new is totally natural. That's biology. It has nothing to do...

Likely not real jealousy Hi DayLilly, Some other folks have given some good feedback. I see also that what you are dealing with is not really not jealousy. There could be a number of other valid reasons involved. For example, as Mohegan mentioned, there's a certain bond that happens between...

You can find this detailed on other posts here a lot. I'm sorry I can't quickly come with a link or reference. Look at stuff Ariakis has posted. He's outlined it very well. There are actually four relationships in a triad. If you think this through, you'll probably realize that this will...

I suspect we all experience this. And like you are learning, the final solution is the same as it is for many things. TIME! We just have to use the understanding (brain part) to play defense, and ride it out until we start to look back (like you are) and realize how far we actually HAVE come...

Hey Jasmine, I'm completely on this page with you. Tolerance and respect are seriously missing elements today, it seems. The only time I step outside this policy is when someone may choose to carry their convoluted belief systems into positions of power and influence, areas that can have real...

Interesting read, RP. Kind of skimmed it, but intend to go back and digest it more.

First reaction Hi Vivien, My first thoughts seemed to run with RP's. It's probably a touch of sadness; that sense we have when things are changing and we know (or believe) that things will never be quite the same. It's similar, I think, to nostalgia, which we all seem to get a taste of from...

Hi Newbie, Valid question. A certain amount of common sense will illuminate certain obvious things. Number one is that by dropping all labels (poly, primary, secondary, unicorn etc.), you remember that this third person is exactly that, a person, a human, caring, loving, unique person. In many...

Hey Ms Zen, Maybe it's time to slow down the mental chatter and do a reality check. Maybe old past history and programming wants you to eventually look at everything as a competition. It's not! Unless you want to make it that way. Totally your choice. You see potential in her. You can...

Hey BU, one thing I try to avoid, for obvious reasons, is giving out medical advice, especially regarding meds. First, unless you are educated and trained in the field, you are unqualified. Secondly, even if you are, you can't make an accurate diagnosis over a couple posts on an internet forum...

Hi Amanda, Okay, you decided to take the plunge against all the wise advice of others here about moving in together. That might be okay. Every situation is unique, so nobody can view through the crystal ball. However, a word of advice for all-- when you live together, silly little things that...

Hey Barney, It's good to be prepared. But then again, we all know what "ass-ume" does (makes an ass of u and me). A lot of whether any jealousy may surface depends on the relationship between the two of them. As long as they are both on the same page about their role in making your life...

Hi Taiel, I like your name. It has a nice roll to it. Here's one big thing that's really simple, that I feel gets overlooked a lot, especially in the early (shock-induced) phase of understanding poly. What feels right/comfortable/fulfilling about a relationship varies a lot between different...

Hi Yoxi, {{{Hugs}}} for what you're going through. Would this help? Part of the training and understanding of meditation is the ability to disconnect and be the observer. This observer is the true self. It has the capacity to observe, to acknowledge these thoughts and emotions as being...

Hello Lady, It's unfortunate that things unfolded the way they did but if it's any help, understand that this seems the rule rather than the exception. LovingRadiance has posted some very sage comments that ties in much of the reality of this. I would read this over, and over and over until...